Get Married in Your 20's for Best Marriage

I almost feel a sense of relief reading these articles and the research they entail.

I got married when I was 23. I didn't think I was too young or not prepared to be married. I knew I was young, but being too young is a different story. I recall a close relative of mine expressing concern for me. She was concerned that I was marrying too young, and that I was not giving myself enough time to "get to know myself", pursue my career, and become financially stable. While she said she loved my husband-t0-be, she still thought I was just too young. (and I have to add- she was also 23 when she married)

Being that this person and I are very close, her statements to me were appreciated, but slightly offensive. It hurt my feelings, and I was disappointed. After all, you want to be happy on your wedding day, and you want to know that everyone is happy for you, too. But when a person expresses concern- that, too, stays in your head on your wedding day.

Bear with me as I reference 3 different articles here.
From The Clinton Herald (Oklahoma)
"According to a statewide survey by Oklahoma State University in 2001, those who marry before 20 and have remained married reported higher levels of happiness and satisfaction than those who have married later in life. Frank believes people who marry young have an opportunity to grow - together." ("Pat Frank, Tahlequah resident and retired Connors State College educator, married young. But she and her husband, retired Tahlequah fire chief Robert Frank, have made it last.")

Key sentence for me there: opportunity to grow together.
For the majority of my life, I felt called to marriage. I never felt called to the religious life (though my father would've loved to see me become a nun!) Having a strong feeling for my vocation to be a wife and mother, why then, would I feel it necessary to "take time for myself longer"? Yes, alone time is important. And I am still an individual separate from my spouse. But I made a choice to not get used to doing everything all alone- alone in the selfish sense. Being a self-absorber. I was happy to take the challenge of growing along WITH someone.

Now from a Washington article:
"COUPLES who wed in their mid 20s have the best chance of living happily together until death do them part, a new survey on American marriage found today. The results contradict conventional wisdom that partners have the best chance for a healthy marriage if they wait until their 30s, researchers said.
Couples who tied the knot between the ages of 23 and 27 stood the best chance of success, according to a statistical index on the quality of marriage constructed on data collected by the University of Texas for the National Fatherhood Initiative.
"Beyond a certain age, later marriage does not improve the success of the marriage," said Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, of the National Marriage Project, commenting on the survey results."

While this does not say that marrying later on can hurt the marriage, it does indicate that marrying younger can improve the success of the marriage.
It makes sense- two people are not so used to going about their own ways. But rather, they come together and learn to cooperate earlier on.

And finally, the segment from USA Today:
"Americans are waiting longer to get married, but they shouldn't wait too long: The odds for a happy marriage may favor those who tie the knot between the ages of 23 and 27, says a survey out Thursday.
The average age at first marriage in the USA has been inching upward; it's now 26 for women and 27 for men."
In this article, a Sociology professor makes a good point:
"Andrew Cherlin, a professor of sociology and public policy at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore, says marrying too young or too old carries a greater risk of divorce. But now, "as people wait longer and longer to marry, the definition of what's too old keeps changing."
To me, the point here is that the age keeps changing as the years goes by. YES.

But what seems to be a constant among all of these articles and these couples that were included in the research? They were married ealrier on- they grew together- and they had some religious roots.

I would love to yell it out to society- "STOP CRITICIZING PEOPLE FOR MARRYING YOUNG!" I really would. I think the message should really be for us to stop being so darn selfish and self-centered, and allow us to think of growing with a person as being a blessing rather than a hindrance.

But this is all just my opinion, my married-at-23-and-still-married opinion. Happily.