Tuesday, October 09, 2007

You Ignore Me, I'll Ignore YOU

A very immature attitude. Not necessarily following the golden rule, is it? Yet it seems, once again, we're humbled. It appears we're never too old to slip on that golden rule.

I've been playing that immature game with God lately. Correction: I was playing that game with Him. I would pray, and then start to think He was ignoring my prayers, and just hearing them and not helping. This went on for quite a while. So what happened? I stopped talking to Him. I stopped praying.

Isn't that bad? Sad? Both?

I know it is. I know from common sense. Most of all, I know from the way it felt when I started "ignoring back". Things didn't improve or get better. Instead, I walked around feeling worse, more lonely, more frustrated, less patient. How can that be good? It can't be. It wasn't. It's not.

There were several obvious signs yanking me back to chat with God. I tried to ignore them, but they became more inviting and more apparent. I think the big one came when we received a rosary in the mail (courtesy Food for the Poor), and along with it instructions on how to pray the rosary.

Yeah. BIG sign, right?

I was wheeled back in. Now I'm doing my best to stay there. We've been praying the rosary together daily, and I've been getting in some more personal prayer time, too.
And you know what? Things are getting better. Not fabulous, but I can clearly see how God is listening and helping now.

Rocket science, right?

This roller coaster reminds me of the saying, "If you feel distant from God, it isn't He who moved".

I've gone off path before, and being human, I'm sure it will happen again. Hopefully I will come back to this post and not stay distant for so long.
After all, it's just too tough world to make it alone. It's too hard to make it without some Divine Intervention.
Thank God He is so forgiving and full of mercy.


Jennifer said...

Great post, Sharon, and you KNOW we've ALL been there at some point or another. In a strange way, I think experiences like these bring us closer to God! :o) Add me to your prayer list--I can always use a few extra! I'm glad you're feeling better!

I'll talk to you soon!

Andrea said...

Sharon -
I can relate to your post, and what a good one it is. I feel like God is ignoring my prayers too sometimes, then I just have to say to myself, just because I want things to go this way, that isn't always the way God wants it to go. Great that you are praying the Rosary daily. I haven't gotten that good yet. I made my resolution in Familia that I would pray a DECADE once a week. That's how I am - just hoping I can do a little. Sometimes I let other things take up my attention that aren't as necessary and I need to work harder on my prayer life. Thank you for this post, it made me think.

Sharon said...

Thanks, Jennifer and Andrea. I'll keep you both on my prayer list. ;)

Andrea-you nailed it on the head when you wrote, just because I want things to go this way, that isn't always the way God wants it to go. Ah, I so frequently struggle w/ this! Yet, time will tell, and I have learned, when HE allows me to see, that there was in fact reason behind my way not being as good as HIS. It sure is humbling. At the same time, it's a relief to know someone out there has a great plan in mind.