There is so much truth in the saying that we may get older, but that doesn't mean we grow up.
This afternoon Aidan, Brennan & I went to the park. He was so excited to bring his new bike, the weather was nice, and to top it off, when we got there we saw quite a few kids running around.
Right away Aidan rode his bike over to this group of 3 boys around his age. They also had a bike and scooter. I was so proud of him, because he introduced himself: "My name Aidan. My play with you?", he asked. Polite and boyish.
These 3 boys gave him a look and turned their back on him. He asked again, innocently thinking they hadn't heard him. "My play with you?". They turned back to him and said "NO!".
Immediately I found myself fighting back tears. My kid is a lovable kid. How dare they turn him down like that! I felt so bad for him as I saw disappointment spread across his face.
To make it worse, their mothers were close enough to see and hear this, because I heard them say "Aww" when they rudely told Aidan no. Did they get off their little butts, though, to straighten out their boys/ Heck no. Like a high school clique, they sat their in their pricey clothes, their hair finely done, gossiping about whatever they were talking about. (Probably themselves). I can understand kids acting this way, but I mistakenly expected adults to act like, well, adults!
I told Aidan that we could find someone else to play with him, and that boys like that weren't worth being friends with, anyway. So off he went to play. He was having fun. He played, rode his bike a little, then played some more. Later he tried, yet again, to befriend these boys, They were all on this bridge together, and from below I saw Aidan ask to play with them. One of these spoiled little brats actually made a deliberate cough right in Aidan's face! OK, now this momma was officially pissed. How dare this little rich brat belittle my child like this?! I guess my look finally hit home, because the mother (damn itch with a B) came over to her son and said "if this little boy wants to play with you, be nice". Not that it changed anything. Not that she made him apologize. Not that she even glanced in my direction.
I know my kid is not perfect. I will acknowledge when he is being tough to be around. That was not the case today, though. He was being sweet, polite, not too over-bearing or touchy. He had the same interests as these boys-climbing, running around, and playing. He just wanted a playmate.
As I was taking it all in, feeling so sad for him, I remembered Sue's post similar to this. I certainly would rather look like a fool playing alongside my son than sit over with the snobs and belittle the other humans at the park. I would much rather my child have less money and more manners.
Damn it! He is a sweet little boy. A sweet little boy who was slightly hurt. Thankfully it didn't hurt him as much as it did me. When you mess with my kid, you are messing with me. You hurt him, you hurt me. Ignore him, you're ignoring me.
You'd think with all that money those moms have, they could find a way to buy themselves some manners. I guess they spent that money on buying friends, instead.
And P.S.-at least a dozen times since then I just thought about if we were living in SC, Aidan would have Landon and Jack to play with. We miss you guys. :(
9 comments:
This post brought tears to my eyes...I really do love Aidan like family and he is SUCH an amazing child in sooooo many ways. I think children are a wonderful reflection of their parents if you just look close enough and I think that is just about the biggest compliment I can possibly give you. I know EXACTLY how you feel b/c this exact same thing happened to Landon at (of COURSE!) the little playground in the zoo--I had to watch my little boy trying to ask other kids if he could join in the group running around playing Pirates and they kept just shooting by him and ignoring him while their snooty moms looked on. A million instances of feeling left out as a child flashed through my mind and I wanted to go save my baby from being hurt--He WAS hurt though. I try really, really hard to teach Landon to be friendly and open and non-effected---compassionate and accepting and charitable--But these things don't seem to amount to much when no one else is teaching it to their kids. Sometimes I feel like I have an alien parenting style--Thank God for blogging!
You just come on down here to us and we'll start our OWN groups--have Office parties, find the right doctors....travel in a pack--It will be great! :oD But if that doesn't happen, just hang in there and know that your boys are the best of the best and the one's who can't see that (whether it be children or ignorant parents), are the ones with the problem. <3 <3 <3
Dude... I just don't know how I'll handle it. We did play group at the park on Wednesday and a kid made like he was going to kick Ace. I could have very easily kicked that little jerk, I was standing right next to him, and I can't say that I wouldn't have. I'm real dang mature.
I know my kid's going to get made fun of, I know he's going to get left out... it's just the nature of having a disability and being a kid. I just have no earthly idea how I'm gonna teach him to roll with it. I just don't know.
This post made me feel so sad.. how dare those mothers. I HATE people like that. How could another child turn down another child unless they were taught that? This has happened to Landen before as well, he actually got yelled at by the grandparents when all he wanted to do was play. I was FURIOUS. I got up looked right at the guy that yelled at him, and made a remark about not wanting to play with people that don't want to play with us. It hurt me. I know how you felt, that breaks my heart for Aidan. Serioulsy, I don't know how people can be like this - I really don't get it. It scares me with having to send him to school, what if people are like that there, and I can't defend him, take care of him. I don't want him to grow up insecure because of other people.
I wish I lived by you all so Landen had a friend that was a BOY--little boys that were nice and loving. *hugs* I feel your motherly pain.
Aww Sharon! This made me so sad. I hate when other people act like that. Your boys are the sweetest little guys ever! If we had been at the park, my boys would have played with him and those other boys would have been jealous!! Oh and you are so not allowed to go to SC without us, LOL, I want to meet Jen and Landon!
wow talk about judging a book by its cover how do you know those mothers are rich and snotty and how do you know that they actually heard your son ask if he could play with their kids you dont know for sure if they heard you are just assuming and that is not a polite thing to do
Anonymous-
How do I know? I was no more than 2 feet away from these mothers. I was standing between them and the boys. Their "Aww" was said immediately following the other boys telling my son "no".
I was not judging a book by its cover. Had I been doing that, I would have steered Aidan away from that group to begin with.
I don't look at someone's brand of clothing, shoes, etc. and decide we don't belong with them. I judge by their behavior. Given what we experienced, I think my judgment was pretty accurate.
I'm sorry to tell you I was not just assuming. You are right-assuming IS an impolite thing to do. However, it is NOT what *I* did.
You know, I allow anonymous comments on my blog because I have some friends that do not have a blogger profile. They still include their names, though, when commenting.
I think not saying who you are is quite cowardly. If you're so sure of what YOU wrote, why not include who you are? Seems kind of weak to me.
i'm sorry Aidan! sadly, get used to it. kids will be kids but some are just plain mean. parents I do think, play a huge part. the only time I would accept Haleigh & Jack telling a kid no is if the kid was being a bully. We can't wait to go to the park with you Aidan!!
I have to add-
I don't expect my boys to always be invited or included with the other kids.
That wasn't the problem in my eyes. The problem was the way it was handled. These boys could have just said "sorry, no", or told Aidan they were playing just them today. THEY don't know better (maybe), but their mothers do. I think those moms should have gotten up and tell their boys how to tell him no politely. That is OUR job as parents. Had that been done, I would have been less upset. But for the grown ups to sit back and let their children display such rude behavior, and it go allowed, that's a different story.
I'm not complaining that my son was not included. I am upset with HOW he was turned down, and the fact that grown ups (who are supposed to be good examples) let it go like that. (which, remember, results in the one boy doing a fake cough right in Aidan's face).
My mum always said, 'you hurt a mother most through her children', and it's sooo true! You think you escape those cliques when you leave school, but you don't, you just enter into the world of your kids' cliques, which is possibly harder. :(
Chin up, he'll have forgotten about it long before you do...
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