Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Heavy Heart

I've had a heavy heart lately.
I really do try not to let things weigh me down, because in reality, things could be much worse. But knowing that alone doesn't make it easier to feel the heaviness that creeps up at times.

Financial things, schedules, family matters, the holidays approaching....and why is it the big financial burdens always seem to happen near the holidays?

We have 4 days until Halloween, one month until Thanksgiving, and just over a month until Pat is finished with grad school. There seems to be much good coming, and then the new baby arriving in February.

I don't want to wish away the time until those points.
I do want to enjoy the here & the now, despite disappointments, hurt feelings, hardships. I want to teach my boys, especially by example, to find the good.

Why can that be so hard?

I may be 30 years old, but I am still learning....
Still learning that my husband and kids ARE my family now. THE family.
We still have the extended family, but they're not the ones who miss us daily. And we need to stop expecting them to. It's not worth the hurt.

I know my boys are great and what's in them that makes them special.
I know the hard work my husband puts into providing for us.
I hope Pat, Aidan and Brennan can see I try to work hard for them, too.

That's what matters.


Hyperactive Lu said...

Ahh....I'm sorry gal. (Lots of hugs) I can kinda relate some of the things that you are talking about. If you ever wanna "talk", just let know....

Bethany said...

Aw, I'm sorry....I hear ya though. I'm home all day today if you want to call and talk. (((hugs)))

Amy said...

You know, while most of us can look and say things could be worse, we still have to wade through whatever junk our lives present. It's ok to feel burdened with that sometimes. Hope you're feeling better now.