Tuesday, November 22, 2011

In the Month of Giving Thanks...

I'm finding it hard to be positive & happy. I know I am blessed and am thankful for those things.
Lately my mind plays tricks on me, disabling me from seeing the good, and only noticing the bad.

I feel guilty over not brining in any income. Then I absurdly panic over the fact that there is no money to my own name.

I complain of our small house. I am so very frustrated by the tiny house that is ours, the lack of space, which truly prohibits me from organizing well.

I get irked by the garage being our only storage, which has resulted in us never, not even once, parking our car in there. Always more annoying in these months of needing to warm up the car.

I get frustrated at praying & looking for opportunities to increase our income, decrease our spending, and to save so we can buy a car and bigger house. Almost a year after my husband graduated with his MBA, and nadda. I don't want to give up on the prayer, but obviously it's doing nothing.

Cillian is a horrible sleeper at night. As in for the past month or so, I kid you not, he's been waking 8-10 times. It is beyond exhausting and excruciating, and I envy my husband's ability to sleep through any crying. On both Cillian's end and mine.

I hate cry-it-out, yet nothing else seems to work.

I'm annoyed by the school and some changes this year. I love my kids and want what's best for them, and I'm not so sure our current school is the answer to that.

I used to be disciplined and diligent in exercising and eating well.
Not any more. I suck.

I hate money. And not sleeping.

See? I told you I'm having a hard time giving thanks.
I always get "homesick" this time of year for my side of the family, too, and it makes me feel more lonely and a bit sad.

I should slap myself & snap out of it, I know. But this is a way of venting; maybe it will help me gain a more positive perspective.
I want to feel thankful. I want to see what is right in front of me as a blessing, not an annoyance.

Tell me: what do you do when you feel like this?

1 comment:

Amy said...


When I get feeling like that I usually spend a couple of days laying around the house doing nothing (watching tv, barely cooking, being annoyed with everyone and everything) whenever I don't have to be somewhere... which, of course, does not help. ;)
After that, I start reading (or re-reading) my favorite organizing and frugal books and websites, and I'll get inspired to do something different. Sometimes it's as simple as finishing folding all the laundry that's sitting in the basket and putting it all away. Sometimes it's cleaning out a drawer, or reorganizing a cupboard. If you'd been to my house this would make you laugh... I am not organized by any stretch of the imagination. Our house is clean but cluttered- there's always some areas that are neat and others that are cluttered. It's a constant battle for me.

I don't know, it sounds crazy, but tackling some little household project like that gets me going and then I start to snap out of my funk.

I also pray a lot when I'm feeling blah... but I'm guessing you're already doing that.