"...a recent Wall Street Journal article noted thatGee, really? Parents, themselves, could no more than a stranger who's never met their baby regarding their sleeping? Wow! What affirmation.
Ferber and several other top parenting authors are softening their stances
on
infant sleep, saying parents themselves are probably the best ones at
finding
what works."
Seriously, the article linked with this post does not do it justice. Diane Sawyer was great. She made it very clear to Dr. Ferber that many parents are upset with him. The entire time, he was trying to say that he was not changing his advice, but that parents have been misunderstanding him all this time, or not reading his book clearly enough. Sure there, Dr. Ferber. Nice cover up!
Can't he just be humble enough to admit that his approach can do more harm that good? Especially after being nailed on a national morning show?
I much prefer the line of thinking of Dr. Sears when he says,
"With most of these baby-training regimens you run the risk of becoming
desensitized to the cues of your infant, especially when it comes to letting
baby cry it out. Instead of helping you to figure out what baby's signals mean,
these training methods tell you to ignore them. Neither you nor your baby learn
anything good from this."
And my very favorite is Elizabeth Pantley, author of The No-Cry Sleep Solution. I quote:
"We know instinctively what our babies need — what our babies want. We have strong instincts that we know exist for our babies' optimal survival. We are even willing to suffer ourselves, if it means the best for our babies. We are mother lions, mother bears, and father tigers, too. We love our babies absolutely; we can't bear to hear our babies cry, and yet … we are desperate for a full night's sleep."That book helped us immensely. As well as the advice of Dr. Jay Gordon.
Good night once and for all, cry-it-out!
1 comment:
While I’m all for a holistic family specific adaptation of the many methods regarding infant sleep, and hardly think of myself as an apologist for Dr. Ferber, it’s important to keep in mind that his original method, as it apeared in the first edition of his book, was intended for children with sleep disorders. When read with idea of preventing sleep disorders, and therefore never having to actually “Ferberize” one’s child, his book is actually quite humane. Many parents have been done a real disservice by the “summaries” of the book that appears on the web and in other, often philosophically and financially competing, publications.
Everyone wants a peaceful balance in their household with regards to sleep, and there are seemingly endless methods for achieving it. Ferber and Weisbluth (sp -- sorry, nursing and can't get up to check spelling) have worked beautifully for many people, just as Sears and Pantley have worked for other. Rather than celebrating one another, though, parents (mothers in particular) often judge one another with profound harshness. By writing this, I think I might be trying to stave off that tendency in myself. I'm a liberal, prochoice, Ferber fan and I want to reach across the politics of sleep methods (and everything else) and wish a stranger, another mother, a very happy new year.
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