This is something I don't quite get.
Browsing a few blogs the other day, I came across posts on a few of them regarding the great lie we parents tell children-- Santa Claus.
From a religious point of view, I can see some issues. The most important thing about Christmas is the birth of Christ. It is a religious day where we welcome the birth of our Savior. This should be the lesson our children are taught most. Christmas isn't just about getting gifts, but rather spreading love and joy in honor of the ONE that taught us love and the ultimate sacrifice. There is no greater gift than that.
What I don't get is this: how some parents feel it is wrong to "lie" to their children regarding Santa. They imply that pretending some mystery man in a red suit coming to bring gifts while we sleep is wrong and harmful to our children. They say that it is outright lying to them, and just a discipline technique to bribe them into being good. (i.e., or else Santa won't come)
Call me crazy, but I don't know any one that suffered a blow to their self-esteem or lost trust in their parents just because they were given the joy of Santa Claus. It's not as though they will always believe. When the time comes, they will be too rational to have that blind faith.
Why not let them enjoy it?
I don't see anything wrong with it. I enjoy watching my nieces, nephews, and even my son get excited at the wonder of it all. Why shouldn't I? I was not harmed or hurt by believing in him as a kid. Nor were my nephews and nieces.
I know I haven't been able to express my thoughts completely on this issue. I guess I just feel a little sorry for those kids. It lasts such a short time. As long as they are taught that "Jesus is the reason for the season" (and why we give gifts, and that gifts are not what make the religious holiday), then everything is fine and dandy.
I just don't get why some parents can't distinguish between lying to their children, and allowing imagination to take part in holidays for that warm, magical feel.
6 comments:
Here is another good post from Paul regarding this:
http://regularthoughts.blogspot.com/
entitled "Yes Virginia there is a Santa Claus"
Thanks!
You have a nice blog here; I must add you to my blogroll.
Thanks, Paul. :)
When you intentionally lead your child to believe something that's not true (ie, Santa Claus) it's lying, plain and simple. I guess, for me, it's about feeling uncomfortable with lying to my son about *anything*...even something so seemingly innocent as Santa Claus...I value the quality of our relationship and feel any intentional lie is damaging to that relationship, just as lying to your significant other can damage the trust you have in them. I discovered the truth about Santa when I was 6, while on the way to get a glass of water I saw my parents wrapping our gifts and placing them under the tree. It's a very vivd memory (meaning it was important enough for me to remember all these year later) and yes, I did feel a sense of betrayal and a huge disappointment in finding out that Santa wasn't real. I don't want my son to have that type of letdown, and more importantly I don't want him to feel like he can't trust his parents.
I am one of those that does see Santa as being an issue of lying to my children... Personally I want to set an example for for children and lying is just not something that I don't want to teach them...
I understand that some people see it as a harmless lie but a lie is a lie...
As I wrote on my blog....
"I have a mother that lied, didn’t keep promises and was, is and can be very manipulative and I did resent her… She was one of those that used Santa as a manipulation tool… And then one Xmas we didn’t have much money and she used it against me…"
So I was scarred by the realization that my mother lied to me and I wondered about all of the other things that she lied about...
My DH was quite older when he founf out that Santa wasn't real and was ridiculed by his older friends and also resented his parents for a long time....
The winter season can be full of magic without believing in the fat man... I do plan to tell my children all (or most) of the myths behind behind the traditions and icons of the season (yule tree, Santa, Saturnalia etc)
On the 24th our kids will go to sleep with a full belly of our traditional supper and stories of Yule, Santa and other magical aspects of the season...and on the morning of the 25th they will wake up to see all of their presents under the treeand won't be made to believe that a fat man dressed in a red suit snuck into our house during the night while we were sleeping...
My kids will be able to fully enjoy the magic of the season without the man in red... maybe they will be able to hold on to that magic for even longer because they won't have to go from having the illusion to not having it....
How terrible it must be to grow up without Santa, or the Cat In The Hat, or the Land of Oz, or any fiction or fantasy.
There's really much more to it than "lying, plain and simple".
If small children watch television, they don't understand that it's not real. If you tell them a story, they don't understand it's not real.
Letting them watch fiction on TV is no different from telling them a fictitious story.
When they come to understand fact from fiction, they will treasure the stories even while they understand they're not true.
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