Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Finding Good In the Bad

I had a bad day. I felt so run down and exhausted, and I feel for my family around me. The attitude they got from me today was not a joyous one. No. Not at all.

Today was one of those days where motherhood brought me to the point of insanity. You know, I had unrealistic expectations-as in feeling the need for my nearly 4-year-old and 11 month old to show gratitude and appreciation for what I do around here. They're younger than the noted age of reason, yet I felt I needed their validation. Makes no sense, right?

It was just one of those days. It was a day I felt I wanted to trade in my position here with that of a working mother (paradox of words, right?). I wanted to have specific sick days, so I could call off and actually let my body rest as needed. I wanted to have those annual reviews to acknowledge the hard work I do. I wanted to feel rewarded, and rewarded beyond hugs, kisses, etc. I wanted to be in a place where I was told of my financial raise.

By the afternoon, though, the boys and I were getting along better. I had gotten out of the house, and the sun even shone a little bit. (brightly reflecting off the snow, of course. We still have plenty!). I came to appreciate it all, once again. I looked at my boys, playing together in the car, and felt just how much I would miss them if I wasn't the one home with them. I felt it two-fold when Aidan said to me, "know what?! My love you, momma!". Yes. He may not always act as I desire, but he does always act his age. I need to remember that he is only (almost) 4. And most of all, I need to remember that these past 4 years have flown by, and I know it's only a matter of time until I feel I'd trade in my care-free days of having alone time with the current days. I'll miss them. I'll actually miss these days when I feel I've officially gone nuts.

It wasn't just the cooped-up-in-the-house with snow still on the ground antsy feeling. I was low on patience with my boys, as well as still feeling sick from my ridiculous mastitis. Plus I have not been treating my body well, lately, and I've eaten so much junk food that I know I gained weight. With only a little bit of "bad", I can so easily dwell on the negative. It just takes a tiny amount.

Now, at the end of the day, I've looked back and already laughed at myself. (It's easy to do, most of the time). I realized there is much good in my life, and much good that happened today, alone.

The Good
-I had to take Brennan to the doctor, and he is not as sick as he sounds. In fact, the Dr. said he's probably near the end of the virus he has. Yes!

-My husband registered for the GMAT today! He will officially take the test in June. This is a test required for him to earn his MBA and enroll in grad school. If life goes according to our plan, he will start grad classes in the fall!

-We finalized birthday party plans for Aidan and Brennan.

-I got myself back on plan with Weight Watchers today.

-I found a nice new recipe to try. ;)

-Aidan told me he loves me, and that he would rather be home with me than playing at a daycare. This boy drives me insane, but I love him so much.

-Our progress with the Dave Ramsey plan is moving forward! Another bill knocked out, and our Emergency Fund is taken care of. (at least the Baby Step 1).

-I finally bought a new bathroom contour rug. It's the small things.

So what do I conclude? I need to get out more! Ha! But seriously, it does none of us good to be kept in the house so much, and I especially can't forget to have a sense of humor through it all. Otherwise, I let it all get to me, and I let myself go insane. Insane momma isn't as much fun as happy momma.


Kim said...

Don't we all have these days! I'm sorry to hear you had a bad day, but happy that you found your way out of it! Your words will help me remember to focus on the positive the next time I start to feel overwhelmed! Great post :)

Andrea said...

Sharon! I hate days like that, I hate them and lately there has been far to many. I think the weather is getting a hold of us - it truly is cabin fever time and once it passes we will be a lot better. I'm glad you found the positive side of this because it is wonderful to be with our children, even when we're ready to pull our hair out. =) *hugs*

Jennifer said...

I can't even blame the weather for my blahs--but boy oh boy do I get what you're saying! landon has entered the "terrible threes" and is a s sassy as sassy can be! I look at him while he's sleeping or painting quietly and think, "Is this the same kid??!!" Ha ha ha ha! And to think I'm planning #2 (not there yet--sorry to confuse the other day!) :oD

Diva Mom Vicki said...

Sounds like a normal day after a very long winter. Hope spring springs up for you soon!