"The Talk": Teaching Stranger Danger to Your Kids

This is something that has really been weighing heavily on my heart lately.

We all want to protect our kids. It's a scary fact that we can't always be there to make sure our own kids are safe from dangers, especially child-predators and pedophiles.

Perhaps I watch too many episodes of Law&Order or Without A Trace, but unfortunately, I don't think that's the case. It's a very real threat out there to our children's safety.

I think it's striking me most right now because, for the first time, Aidan is going to be completely with other adults-alone-for roughly 9 hours a week. While I trust the preschool we have selected, there is no 100% guarantee any where. It is not only our right, but also our duty and obligation to teach our kids about "stranger danger" and protection. I admit, I fear I may not be up to the task and offer Aidan as much as he needs to know. I hope so, but that fear still lingers that I will fail him.

So what have I done to prepare?

First let me ask you-- what do you when covering this topic with your family?

It has been a gradual process with us. I've looked into some aids to give me ideas.

One of the first things suggested to me (by other moms) was the book Protecting the Gift by Gavin de Becker. I checked it out from our library but never finished it. I really need to. I was impressed with what I had read.

From this book one thing stuck out to me. If you're child gets lost in a store, it may not always be the best advice to teach them to go to the store security, or even an employee. While an employee would be a good choice, another better choice would be to go to another mom with her kids. It may sound stereotypical, but these are facts based on statistics and years of studies done on criminals. The thought is that a mother (especially with her own children present) is more likely to help the child, knowing firsthand just how scary of a situation this could be. Up until reading that, we told Aidan to go to someone working in the store. Now we say find a mom-if you can't find a mom, then go to an employee (and a girl employee over boy employee).

Oh, also, naturally your child would call out "MOM!" or "DAD!". Encourage them to call out your actual names instead. It supposedly makes the child less of a target, and you, as the parent, have a better chance to respond promptly.

My most recent aid was purchasing a DVD. We just bought Stranger Safety, which was created by the founder of Baby Einstein and host of America's Most Wanted. Yesterday we watched it for the first time. The main character was a bit of a spaz, but it really held your attention. Just keep in mind the targeted age range. ;) Aidan really enjoyed it, and he seemed to take a lot in from it. Overall I recommend it! Oh, and on the plus side, their website offers free downloads with lesson plans and a review of the DVD, should you want that to reiterate with your son/daughter.

Lastly I've been reading valuable info online. Some sites worth checking:

My Precious Kid (DVD also sold here)

National Crime Prevention Council (parents' section) (also, you can order for free trading cards)

National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (I linked to the resource page--free printables/tips for parents)

After watching that DVD and reading some tips, we're working with Aidan to memorize our phone number. He knows the first 6 digits very well, and almost the rest. He has known our first names, and now knows to yell "You're not my MOM!" (or dad) if need be. He knows what he should do if we get separated in a store. He knows our first names and last names. He can name at least 6 adults who we designate as "safe" for him. Yesterday I also showed him some defense moves he could use if someone was holding him or grabbing him (kicking, biting, etc).

We still have much to work on, but I'm hoping this is a good start.

Sorry this is such a long post. Given the topic, I just didn't see how I could cut something out. It seems to important.

Please leave me a comment if you think of something I'm missing with Aidan!