Cleaned

Yesterday was a day of cleaning, in all forms.

House:
Our boys were with their grandparents all day, so we did heavy duty cleaning you can only do without little ones running around. Our big area rug in the living room? Yeah, completely moved that, moved the couch out of the room, train table, too, and vacuumed, swept, and mopped that room. It looks so much better.

Same with the playroom. My parents will be sleeping in there, so we rearranged toys, did the winter window-covering to the windows in that room, and organized the bookcase.

That alone took a good 2 hours or so.

Marriage:
We had time alone! For the first time since MAY! It's so nice to be able to finish sentences, eat without sharing food, and just have an opportunity to be with each other if only for a few. Grant it, most of our alone time was spent cleaning, but we did take a lunch break and enjoy eating out at Subway. Without ordering a kids' meal, without needing excessive amount of extra napkins, without a highchair...
Not that we don't adore and love our kids. We do. We even missed them. But in making time for each other, you do serve as better parents.

Soul:
We made it to Confession yesterday, then Mass, and got in some quality prayer time. Without kids! I tell ya, you can really absorb a lot more of the Readings when you can hear what's being said. HA!
Ironically enough, this was the first time in months we wore jeans to church, and of course we were asked to carry up the gifts. Figures.

We also did the last of non-perishable shopping for Thanksgiving, buying our trail mix to put out, nuts, and today Aidan & I are considering making these cute Footballs to have for turkey day.

Productive weekend.
We cleaned up.
I feel refreshed.

Both an Aid and a Penance *Edited*

*Edited to offer the link for the Creighton Method of NFP (which is always on my sidebar under Links) Click here for the Creighton site.

That's how NFP was described in this article I read (thanks to Vicki for the link).

Don't get the wrong idea. It was a breath of fresh air, this article. No beating around the bush. I think any true NFP practitioner would agree that it's bluntly accurate. Thank God for that.

Here are my thoughts:
1.) "You can't talk to experienced older couples, either, or you'll get an earful about the bad old days of rhythm-and-blues and 23 children."
Boy have we run into that numerous times. Starting with my own parents, too. They married in 1960, and at that time, NFP mostly consisted of circling dates on your calendar, guesstimating. Being extremely unreliable, no wonder they scoffed at NFP.
What I scoff at, though, is there unwillingness to listen to how NFP has truly changed, and it can be used successfully. (requiring much patience).

Oh, and to add in, many old fogies seem to believe that being fully Catholic= having as many babies as your body can squeeze out. NOT TRUE. The Catechism teaches no such thing. The Pope has never told his audience or written an encyclical stating that faithful Catholics have baby after baby after baby...
Rather, the correct teaching is that we stay open to the gift of life (even when it doesn't seem like a gift), and allow the twofold purpose of marriage to manifest between a wife & husband. For some couples, they feel large (and very large) families are apart of God's plan for them. For others, they feel they have grave reasons to limit their family size (and for some that number may be just one child).

2.) Nor can you talk to your doctor, who will write "family planning: nothing" on your medical record (especially if you've caught that Sexually Transmitted Disease known as "pregnancy").
Something else I've experienced. Finding a doctor when we moved here was a challenge, being that my first OB was an NFP-only physician. Not only did he support it, he also taught a mucus-only method. I felt so lucky to have that doctor.

We moved here and there was no such doctor closer than an hour away. I found a great OB, but only after firing one. The first one argued with me about NFP. She, an OB/GYN, actually pulled the old "you know what they call people who practice NFP? PARENTS!". Gosh, I guess she really wants to limit her patients (as well as my patience).
Making medical suggestions is one thing, but she showed no respect for my choice of family planning. She did not accept NFP as a credible form for child spacing.
I found that to be so disappointing on an intellectual level. She went to med school to learn and master the female body, yet she (herself a female) couldn't grasp the natural cycles of a woman, using it to manipulate it for or against conceiving?

3.) But for many of us, uniting our wills with God's sounds more like "Uncle."
Nothing else to say about this other than a big"WORD".

4.) It doesn't help that some proponents of NFP pretend that it's all togetherness and respect, profundity and cuddles.
Oh my, this could be the longest of my thoughts yet.
I remember when we were first learning Creighton, and our instructor was teaching us about SPICE. I wanted to bust out laughing. For the sake of respect I did not, but I couldn't believe the sugar-coated blur that seemed to be. Not that I don't think it makes sense, but I was beyond believing people when they said NFP was all honky-dory and rose petals.
What planet were they from?
One without sex drives?!
I mean, I advocate NFP too (or at least used to...I'm coming back around in my faith here), but I've always tried to be honest about it. I've also always tried to relate it to the fact that any form of birth control (not saying NFP and birth control are one in the same) can have its tribulations and frustrations. Nothing is exempt from that. So long as humans are the ones practicing a method, human nature will allow for error, misjudgement, forgetfulness, or misinterpretation of a bodily sign.
I think the nice thing is that if two people are working truly together for charting, then you do actually develop a whole new level of respect in that relationship. One you didn't have before adding in intimacy and shared responsibility for possible pregnancies.

5.) Talk to your priest.. But don't reject out of hand a celibate man's ideas about sex: After hearing 46 million confessions, he probably knows more than you do
I've been guilty of this. And this is the argument I hear most from fallen Catholics or non-Catholics. "The Church doesn't belong in my bedroom". I've even said it myself.
The problem is once you've learned something, you can't unlearn it.
Why does the Church interfere in the bedroom?
Same as any church.
God's ministers are meant to teach us right from wrong, and the value of a life. Obviously the first value of a life is at the moment of conception. Conception is a [possible] consequence of sex, so it's perfectly sensible. I don't think the Church is trying to tell us ow to have sex or when to do it. I think the Church is trying to show us the spiritual depth of what we're doing. It may be frustrating, but most incredible things in life are at times.

6.) Try to understand why God wants this for you. He doesn't intend for you to be subserviently miserable
Something I've often caught myself thinking. You know, that He was making me suffer or punishing me, or simply not wanting me to enjoy sex or this life. Sounds immature, doesn't it? Maybe it is. But it's the truth.

7.) As long as it's acceptable for everyone else to talk about sex these days, why should Catholics be shy?
I've wondered this since I had "the talk". If we're supposed to be respectful of sex and its two-fold purpose, why should we be taught about it in a dirty or hushed manner? TALK ABOUT IT!
I have always been very open in this area. Maybe too open, but I don't get how you can be married and act like you don't know sex. Come on. I'm not trying to be perverted. I swear.
I'm very, very thankful for my NFP friends and the ones I can talk about it with openly. So so thankful.
I think we should have many more homilies on sex. More classes. Heck, we should have NFP support groups through our parishes! (ha ha...somewhat kidding here)

8.) Many disenchanted couples are suffering from a lack of honest information about NFP.
Yes yes yes. I notice it even among my own siblings.
More as to why we should talk about it, get the word out. Yo.
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Sorry for this crazy long post. Let's just say I feel the fire burning, so I had to go with it while I could. If you're still reading, I thank you. I hope it was worth it.

"10 Ways to Reduce Your Divorce Risk"

This article caught my attention.
Not that I feel threatened in my marriage-I don't. I'm just always curious what these "experts" would suggest.
The 10 Ways:
1. Get Married After About Two Years of Courtship
2.Rethink Living Together
3. Wait until you are a little older to marry
4. Talk about the big issues before you get married
5. You can argue, just don't let it turn into WW III
6. Do stuff together
7. Share the chores
8. Be as polite to each other as you are to strangers
9. Have issues? Get help!
10. Marry someone who wants to be married

After reading the list, I can say I agree with just about every single tip. And I almost hate to admit it, but it look like my dad was right. ;) He always said many of these things. I didn't want to hear it because he's DAD, but he and my mom have been married for nearly 50 years now. I guess they're doing something right.

What I most surprised, yet satisfied, to see on the list was #2: Rethink Living Together.
I am so glad that was included. It seems like those who don't live together before marriage are the odd ones out, and at times it can feel black sheepish. Obviously it is usually a good choice, though. I wish more people would accept this for the truth that it is. Not that it's easy, but most good things in life don't start off easy.

Some of the others just seemed like "duh" to me, like marrying someone who wants to get married. Generally speaking I agree with the age statement, too, but in regards to that, I think it more depends on the person and their maturity level, life experiences, and recognizing what they truly want in life.

One thing is for sure: Many joke or act that life ends when you get married. I really think it's the opposite. It's an incredible beginning that never ends. What you gain far outweighs what you give up.