Sleep: Just a Memory

Sadly, this is how it feels.
I'm recalling the wonderful thing known as SLEEP, through a very foggy mind.
I am worn down, people. Absolutely worn down.
I hate when I've reached this point, but it's where I am. And I sure as heck hope to be in a different situation soon!

Cillian has been a decently good baby & sleeper. When we went to SC last month he started not sleeping so well, and this past week it's just become downright terrible. He's not inconsolable, but he's waking A LOT. As in I haven't had more than a 2-hour stretch in some time.

Every once in a while, I can handle that, But night after night after night...
No. Then I feel myself in zombie mode, like I'm trudging through heavy slosh each step I take...
Like there is no amount of caffeine that can help me...
Like my brain is fogged over.
Things go undone around the house. The bed? Not made. The laundry? Fallen behind. (& those are 2 tasks I generally stay on top of)
Patience? Out the door.

Herein lies a dilemma.
I'm generally not a fan of CIO (cry-it-out), but I do know there are circumstances where it makes sense.
We tried CIO with Aidan & it didn't work.
We did it w/ Brennan & it did.
Each time I had many moments of feeling like a horrible mother, "making" my baby cry.
But there were also moments of seeing the rewards of the "training", and "letting" my baby learn to fall asleep unassisted.

Gah. What to do? What to do?
Cillian is only 5 months old (on the 18th) & part of me feels it's too young. The other part of me is screaming for relief from this exhaustion. Aside from some major teething, there is nothing physically wrong.

So can you help me? Just tell me what to do? PLEASE? I am so torn. And I'm driving myself crazy.

"Chiropractic Care for Children Found to be Safe and Effective!"

I was pleased to find this article in my inbox today, especially since last Friday began Brennan's visits to the chiropractor.

Two recent survey studies have shown chiropractic care for children is safe, gets results and offers children unexpected health benefits. One survey included data from doctors of chiropractic and the other survey collected data from parents of children under care.

Both surveys revealed that children experienced added health benefits beyond what they came in for. The three most common additional benefits were: improved immune system function, improved sleep and improved moods in the children.

Remember his sleep issues? Well, they haven't gotten much better, and I recall a few people suggesting the chiropractor. (Carol, who used to run Parenting Decisions...I miss her and her site!). Reaching my breaking point and exceeding my exhaustion levels, I made the call.

I admit I was somewhat skeptical. The chiropractor quickly made me feel comfortable, however. He was great with Brennan, didn't talk down to me or anything, and I was encouraged when he shared with me that they, too, decline vaccines for their children. It's always better when there is a common factor, isn't it?

Brennan has been back once more since then, and we're going again on Friday. I'm not sure how long we'll do this, but he did sleep better and settle down quicker after that first appointment. I am open to this until I see a reason I shouldn't be.

Another Thing on Sleep

(Stemming from this post and this one)
I once again feel reassured that I may just be doing the right thing, after all.
I always forget how wonderful this site can be. Fortunately tonight I browsed it again, and this article was my light at the end of the tunnel. This part especially clicked in my head:

I also realized that our society has little understanding of newborns, and does not sanction compassion for their needs or feelings. Demand nursing, as I saw it, was no different from caring for a family member who has been rendered powerless. Would we refuse an incapacitated father a meal because it was "not time"? Or leave a paralyzed spouse alone in a room to "cry it out"--checking in every 10 minutes to say, "It's Ok"--without trying to find out what is wrong and doing something about it? If he or she only wanted to be held, would we refuse, for fear of spoiling someone we love? How can anyone claim that legal or religious tenets require us to deny babies sustenance and comfort "in their best interests"?

Yup. I may not be in the same situation as the author of this article, but if she got through it, so will I. I know I'd rather regret responding too quickly/too often to my child than not responding enough. That's all. I wanted to share, in case you were interested.

PS-This isn't to say anything negative on CIO if you chose that. Again, if it seems like it'd help Brennan within a short amount of time, then diggity-dawg, so be it! If it's worked for you, then enjoy your sleep tonight. :)

Brennan-Sleep Update

Thank you all so much for your comments on my post about crying-it-out. I really appreciate your honesty, experience, and most of all, listening to me vent! You all shared great advice.

I have not started any type of cry-it-out routine. I have put him in the crib to cry for 10 minutes or so when he's bit me (OUCH!), but I have not left him to cry himself to sleep.

I think part of me made that post hoping to get talked out of it. And I think most of me just really needed to vent with other moms. My husband is an amazing father, but unless you're the milk-machine being needed, it's hard to fully relate.

To answer some of your questions: Brennan won't take a pacifier. I was dead against them with Aidan, but willing to try them this time around. We tried all the different brands, every couple of weeks, and he gags on them. Now he does have a silicone one he loves to bite on, but he never takes them to actually pacify himself. I'm ok with this, as I'm not too keen on pacifiers.
Where does he sleep? From day one we've been co-sleeping. He sleeps next to me. He has slept in his crib several times, but I think I do better with him in our bed. However, he is not a snuggler all night long like Aidan was. I'm wondering if he'd do better in his crib. So we're experimenting. That's another reason why CIO seems somewhat harsh to me. He's not used to his crib fully, and I don't think it's safe to leave him CIO on our bed with him being mobile now.

Much of the time it is a mad cry. Because I know it's a "mad cry" and not an "I'm hurt" cry, that is why I feel ok with letting him have some time in his crib crying, if that's what he needs to understand that it is time to sleep and not play. I don't let that go beyond 5-10 minutes, though. (For me, crying-it-out is harder on the parents!) I've thought of trying it with Brennan, though, because he is a much more mild baby than Aidan was. With Brennan, I'd try it because I have doubts that it'd have to go as long as 20 minutes. I have yet to do that, and I certainly don't want to do anything to lead Brennan to not trust us or our family. (side note--our doctor did acknowledge that Brennan is past the point of object permanence. This means that when we leave the room, he does know we're still around & will be back. If he was not yet to this point, I'd feel CIO is cruel!)

I'm giving it some more time, adding in some Tylenol for teething discomfort, and hoping for the best. If I feel pushed to my limit again, I may pick up on the idea again. I think mostly I needed to vent!

Thanks again for listening. I wanted to update & let you know that I'm not leaving him to scream to the point of exhaustion. ;) Hopefully I can report soon that he is back to his old sleeping self.