This post: To the Grad School Widows
I had never been to her blog before, but I found that post just now, and it is perfect timing.
I really needed to read that, and I wish the comments weren't closed. I'd add a big thank you to the author.
I so often feel like such a big wimp.
I feel disappointed in myself that I'm getting impatient, frustrated, and wondering how the heck I'm going to endure another year of this.
It's not like I'm a military wife.
My husband is not overseas. He is not deployed.
It's not as though I really
am a single parent.
He comes home every night.
Sometimes, though, it's harder
because of that. He's here, yet not really. He might be home, but he should be studying, he should be preparing for his next case study.
I know he is doing it for our family. I know he loves us all.
I love him for doing this.
But I'll tell ya, it's not easy. The world knows it's hard for
him-balancing his full time job, plus family, while being in grad school.
I just wish at times that the world could see, it's not so easy on my end, either.
Not that I want a pity party, but at this point in the semester, over a year into grad school now, I am feeling burned out.
I am getting tired of him having to devote nearly every weekend for school.
I am getting tired of doing dinner with the boys solo.
I'm tired of these strangers consuming his world.
I'm just tired.
I feel like this is a taste of playing single parent, and no thank you.
It's not easy. I give much credit to those who do this singlehandedly.
He
will continue, he
will finish.
I will continue, and I need to try and be less of a wimp about it.
But I needed to vent.
It's hard. Especially considering I have no family in town, and we only have one car.
Our choices, yes, but I also choose to vent about it now.
Just for this post.
Tomorrow I will be stronger and more brave.
I better be. My grad student -my husband- has a big test tomorrow. I need to be strong for him.
One more year...we'll make it.