You Don't Say

"Make Sure to get enough sleep. Being over-tired can be a trigger for snacking and overeating."
Tip #59, Weight Watchers Ultimate 3 Month Tracker


Um, yeah....
Funny I read that today. 
I have really been struggling lately with my eating and (lack-of) exercising.
Without a doubt, it's directly related to the major sleep issues happening over here. As in Cillian waking about every 2 hours most of the summer. 


I know, I know..."let him cry".
I have some issues with that, and quite frankly, I stink at it.
I can handle the 1st time he goes down for the night, but in the middle of the night?


That's where I am right now, up 3 pounds. :( Im not happy about it, but yesterday I got myself back on track. 
Now if only that cute 6-month old of mine would sleep again...

Back on the Wagon (a Return to Weight Watchers)

Saturday was the day.
THE day.
I went back to Weight Watchers.

It's both exciting & intimidating.

I went back at 5 weeks post-partum after Brennan, and now 4 weeks post-partum after Cillian.
I've been craving it. Seriously. When I'm disciplined and on-program with Weight Watchers, the rest of my life seems to fall more into place.
Perhaps because instead of emotional eating, I'm giving attention to issues that would turn me to emotional eating? I don't know. But it works out that way, for the best.

It's exciting because I want to lose weight, I feel more in control, and I feel more ME being back.

It's intimidating because I had mastered the old program. Practically never had to look things up, could plan meals without thinking twice, etc. It was very comfortable for me.
But I'm returning to the new Points Plus program.
While I think it will be good, result in weight loss, and ultimately is healthier than the old program, it still requires me to learn again. All over from the beginning.

I'm having fun finding new food blogs and recipes to try.
I have a long way to go (sadly). I hope on Saturday to see a loss.
Here is to another weight loss journey!

Why I Watch The Biggest Loser (warning: long post)

Because no matter what the number on the scale shows, I will always feel the "me" from the above picture, with all the extra weight. 

You don't forget how it feels to be uncomfortable in your own skin.

You don't forget the way it feels to have your pants restricting your breathing when you bend over.

You don't forget the way it feels to be hopeful when grabbing a size 12 in the dressing room, only to find it's not worth the squeezing required to wear the clothing. 

You don't forget feeling like the fat one, feeling not-pretty, and self-conscious at all times.

No matter what the number on the scale shows, at least for me, the fat-Sharon that once was, always resides in a place within me.

When I watch The Biggest Loser, I can really relate to the contestants.

Grant it, I was never so morbidly obese. 

But it doesn't take morbidly obese. 

On the show, you see Jillian & Bob "counseling" the contestants to learn what triggered their weight issues. Most of the time, it's not solely a physical problem (can't always blame the thyroid!).

For me, most of my weight packed on following my miscarriage in March 2006.

I was 16 weeks along, it was completely unexpected, and I was an emotional mess. 

(the picture above is me one month after the miscarriage, at my friend's wedding)

I turned to raw cookie dough, fast food, and ice cream. 

I was depressed.

Money was tight, too, which didn't help any.

I felt I lost control of my life. 

I was sinking financially. 

I was dealing with a 2 year old living up to the "terrible twos".

I was living in MI blocks away from my in-laws, yet 12 HOURS away from my own family.

I am a planner. I like control. I like to know what will happen, when.

I'm not huge on surprises. 

So when life goes according to another plan, it's quite the curveball. 

Before I ever watched The Biggest Loser, I had tried the 30 Day Shred (Jillian Michaels).

That, combined with Weight Watchers, helped me achieve my goal weight.

Actually, my goal weight, and I went on to lose an additional 14 pounds.

I also fell in love with The Biggest Loser's Last Chance Workout. I miss it & can't wait to start it again after this baby is born.

My weight was down to 124 this past May. I had not seen 124 since before my wedding. (I was 126 when I got married). I was more toned than I think I was even while dancing in high school.

 I have a picture of my stomach, but I'm not sure I want to share it. (some of you have seen it). But even to my surprise, in the picture, you see stomach muscles. Definition. Awesome.

Shopping for clothes was fun again.

Wearing shorts was comfortable.

I didn't sweat just putting on a swimsuit in public.

I walked in the neighborhood without people thinking "there goes the fat girl".

You don't forget how all of that feels, either.

Now I'm nearly 20 weeks pregnant.

While this baby was deliberately planned for, etc., it goes without saying I've put on weight.

And before you say it, it is NOT all baby weight.

I've started eating like the old-Sharon, and I don't know why.

Well, I actually do think I know why.

Morning sickness came the end of June, lasted until recently, and my energy vanished. I started sleeping more. And I could only eat carbs.

My diet drastically changed.

I lost control.

I lost control of what I could eat, because my normal lunches before, made me sick.

I lost control of my own body, for the sake of growing another human. It's worth, it YES.

But deep down, I don't think I'll feel control again until I am no longer pregnant.

This was me this past June:

Do you see a difference from the 1st picture? 

I'm still no beauty queen or anything, but I do think the weight difference is noticeable.

I aim to get back there. 

I go through spurts of trying to resume my healthy eating habits and exercise, but my stomach and energy don't always cooperate. 

I watch The Biggest Loser, and nearly every episode I cry with the contestants. 

I was never that big, but mentally I've felt that big, and even though I'm pregnant, I feel that big again.

I hang on to their transformations, and try to keep my own in mind.

That's why I watch The Biggest Loser.

Lastly, for anyone who thinks it was easy for me to tone up or lose weight, or who says I don't have the place to speak as I do, look at that 1st picture again.

It was never easy for me.

I had to build up my stamina to walk & use weights.

I had to plan for healthy meals & force myself into liking veggies, etc.

Heck, I had to train myself to drink WATER.

Easy does not describe it for me. 

Not before, and I'm sure not when i start back again.

Worth it, though?

Definitely.

It's Nice to See You Again

Ah, today I reunited with a number on the scale I hadn't seen since 2003. Since I got pregnant with my oldest, 6 years ago. It's been way too long.

I debated about making this post, because I certainly don't want to come off as one who is bragging.
Because you know what? This didn't happen easily for me.

My weight-loss journey has been a very long one.
One with many ups & downs, and more downs than ups.

I have worked very hard over the past few months to achieve a weight I am happy with.
It's taken a lot of hard work...many hours of exercise, much menu planning, looking endlessly for recipes that are low fat & still enjoyable.
It's doing the daunting task of writing everything down that I eat, measuring servings, going to meetings for motivation, turning to friends for inspiration.
It's meant being selfish at times, putting my need to exercise over my family's wanting to play a game, etc.  (no worries, most of the time it's only 25 minutes!)

So because of all of that, I can post this, because I worked hard for it.
I will have to continue to work hard to maintain this, for the rest of my life.
Exercising and eating well are not a stage. No, it's a lifestlye change I've gradually made over the last 6 years.
Best of all, it's a change I am happy my boys will grow up knowing.
Wheat vs white, diet vs regular, baked vs fried...it may sound trivial or like something to roll your eyes at. but it's good health. I value good health.

There was a day I thought the 120's would not be a number I'd see on the scale again.
I foolishly excused it, telling myself that I'm a mother now, and it's harder for moms to be a healthy weight.

That is true. But being a mom, in my opinion, makes it that much more important to aim for healthiness.
I'm not much away from 130's, but my personal goal was to just even see 129.9 on the scale. Today I saw 129.8 (never thought I'd publicly list my weight...lordy lordy). I could be smaller, thinner, but I am happy. I have this, written here, now, to remind myself I can do it. If the day comes where I don't believe again, I can come back to this.

I am a 29 year old woman who has had 3 pregnancies. I am a woman who doesn't have the money to spend on all fresh-all organic foods. I work with a grocery budget of $150 every 2 weeks.
I stay home, have no gym membership, and a husband who is gone to grad school a few nights a week.
All of that used to be reasons excuses why I was a higher weight, or why I wasn't exercising.
I had no gym. I had a lack of money to eat healthy. I had a body that endured 3 pregnancies.

Guess what? That doesn't matter. A tight budget, using your home as a gym, whatever...it can be done.
This post here, this is my reality check.

These words I am pouring out into the world, right now, are my "hey you!" words.
If I say I can't again, I will read this.
Because I can.
And so can you.

Do You Wanna Know?

All the junk I ate over Christmas break?

Seriously. I know that's an odd thing to bring up, but I think it will surprise many of you. Some of you seem to think I am a health-nut, so I'm going to share. Rest assured, I can pig out like no other, when I allow myself.
And of course I feel the guilt, but I'll touch on that at the end.

Are you ready? You may feel sick to your stomachs, FYI.

Over the break, I gave myself time-off of tracking my points and let myself enjoy food. We ate at my in-laws', enjoyed snacks from others, homemade baked goods, etc, so it didn't all come from our funding.

I ate:

• bacon-wrapped filet
• bacon-wrapped breadsticks
• loaded baked potato
• Vito's Pizza, the best on the planet (as in 6 pieces)
• prime rib
• Little Caesar's
• chocolate
• cookies
• Taco Bell, especially the chili-cheese burrito
• Moose Tracks ice cream
• an entire bag of Garden Salsa Sunchips, by myself
• bread rolls w/ butter
• wine
• Schlotzky's Turkey-Bacon Club
• Pasta. A crazy amount of white pasta.
• Bagels

That's not even all of it, I'm sure. 

But see? I pigged out like no other. That was in 2 weeks' time, people. Kinda gross, huh?

I don't do it all the time. I allowed myself that free range long enough for guilt to set in & pounds to come back on. Not a ton, but I could feel the difference. I very easily feel when I gain or lose weight. (I suppose years on Weight Watchers will do that for ya).

I enjoyed it, but now it's back to being disciplined until the next bout of it, probably over Spring break.

I am back to tracking, and I'm really trying to condition myself again, physically. 

If I happen to get pregnant this year (I am not pregnant, just planning ahead), I want to be in very good physical condition. I want to be the healthiest I have ever been.

And it's a tad vain, but I really want to see if I can get my weight into the 120's again. I am close, but have not reached it yet. It won't last, I am sure, but I really feel I want to challenge myself. 

For exercise I'm trying some new things (still love the shred, but want a break from it):

Cardio Max, level 1. It's On Demand, and oh my goodness, it is tough. The thighs & toosh are feeling it.

Walk Away the Pounds, Family Walk. It's 2 miles. I never got into WATP before, but I'm liking it. It's one I can see myself doing life-long. Easy on the joints, but still effective.

On Demand right now has a 10 minute Yoga for Core. I always thought Yoga was for the tree-huggers and probably easy. WRONG! Ok, maybe it is more hippy-type or something, but it is not easy. Boy was I wrong! My abs were definitely challenged, and many of the moves were things we did in dance.

I did these 3 last night, in this order. I plan to stick with this routine for this week & see what it does come weigh-in time.

It really is amazing how good you feel mentally after exercising. I dread doing it much of the time, but so glad I've done it once it's done.

Six Pounds Makes a BIG Difference

Much more than I thought.

You all know I've grown accustomed to doing the shred. What can I say? I love the work-outs and the short amount of time it requires. It just really works with my schedule right now.

I've done all 3 levels. Not to perfection, but I have done each level consistently since May.

I only had two 5-pound weights, so that's what I've used. 10 pounds total still made for a good stress on my muscles.

I was getting bored with level 3 (even though I was nowhere near perfection with it), and believe it or not I had skipped the shred for almost 8 days.

You can go ahead & pick your jaws up off the floor.

I have implemented my new plan. :)

See that? Ignore the dorky aspect of the picture (I was trying to look tough...ha!). I'm showing my 8-pound weights! 3 more pounds per weight, and I'm shredding now with 6 extra pounds than before. (oh yeah, and ignore the upside down 8)

I have started back to level 1 using the 8-pounders, trying to follow Natalie the entire time.

You can laugh at me now, because let me say I did not expect 6 pounds to make such a difference. WOW. I did it just once so far, and I am sore. Even my legs. Doing those darned squats with the weights, and my legs are yelling at me for a sauna or something.

I plan to start today without missing a day. I am back to counting my points as of today (took time away while vacationing), and I hope to shred each day. I really enjoy it, and my body is finally to a point where it craves exercise. I can say in all honesty I didn't think I'd reach this point again. I have not been to this point since I danced in high school.

Oh, and please note that the picture was taken after I exercised, so I'm sweaty and icky.

I do shower, I swear. ;)

Level 3 & the Big-Boy Bed

I'm talking about two different topics here, people. I hope your minds were not in the gutter! ;)

Today brought 2 new adventures for us: the biggest was transitioning Brennan from his crib to a big-boy bed. The other was me doing level 3 of the shred for the first time.

Brennan:
From the beginning, Brennan has been our "crib baby". Aidan was a co-sleeper from day 1, but Brennan has always liked his space. He's our kid that slept in a crib, making new territory familiar to us. (in a good way) However, ever since Milwaukee, he stopped sleeping through the night.
NOT FUN.
I took him to the doctor to rule out any physical problems. Thankfully nothing was found.
We noticed he was resisting all sleep in his crib. He has completely stopped napping, too. The days are feeling pretty long lately...
We got to talking, and Pat shared with me that he felt Brennan would start sleeping better in a big-boy bed. Fortunately we had another twin bed available. It just meant de-bunking the bunk beds & buying some bedding stuff.

Today was the day.

After church this morning we attempted to put Brennan down for a nap, like we've been doing the past 2 weeks. Nothing. Sure enough he was resisting to his fullest potential.
So with Pat actually being home, we got busy. The bunk beds are no more, and the crib is out of sight. (yes, this momma teared up when the crib came down. Think it's time for baby #3?)
Brennan went from this:

To this:

Their room looks completely different, but so much better.

Before:

After:

Brennan's new big-boy bed Ta-da! Finally 2 sleeping little boys

It will be an adjustment, but hopefully a good change and a fast one, at that.
We did have to get them to sleep separately, then move Aidan back once asleep. Brennan was way too excited over his new Lightning McQueen blanket, as well as he wouldn't stop inviting Aidan to "jump bed", as he calls it. Why sleep when you can have so much fun jumping on the bed?!
Regardless, they are both asleep now, and I am hoping that this change brings back Brennan's good sleeping habits. This momma sure misses her sleep!

And why do I need my rest? Because I am wearing myself out doing the shred!
I love it, though. I absolutely love this workout & am happy to say I am seeing results. I am 0.4 pounds away from being back to my Weight Watchers goal weight, but I'd like to lose even a little more and continue toning up. It's hard, but I am enjoying it.

Level 1 was tough, level 2 a little harder, but whoa nelly...level 3 is much harder!
I was huffing & puffing just a few minutes into it. Jillian Michaels has you doing jumping jacks with weights! Come on! Good calorie-burning stuff. My body just isn't used to it. I plan to do level 3 again tomorrow, and all week. Maybe even John & Erin will do it with me at the end of the week when we see them. What do you guys say? ;)

Shredding at level 3, bidding an unknown good-bye to our crib...changes. Small things add up, don't they?
20-some minutes a day is toning up my body, and sleeping in a twin bed is making my "baby" seem so much bigger.

Confessions

Why is it we love the dirt on other people?
Does it make us feel more normal?

Just wondering...

So I have a confession to make.
Remember not too long ago I made a post stating that I had made lifetime with Weight Watchers? (Lifetime means you've reached & maintained your goal weight for a minimum of 6 weeks)

Yeah, well, here is the confession: I have not been to WW in a long time, and sadly, I am far from my goal weight. Not nearly as far as when I initially joined after Brennan was born, but far enough.

I should have joined in on Amy's Biggest Loser contest. I just wasn't ready. I am a huge emotional eater and I've been doing so much of that. Between Pat being in grad school, moving, needing a new roof, and now some flooring issues, food has been a very present best friend.

Is food a problem? No, so long as it's the right food.

I've chosen all the wrong foods. In excess.
And I know better.

Today was a new day, though, and back to Weight Watchers I went.
It's amazing how motivating those meetings are! I need them. If I ever let myself not go again (at least twice a month), come over and bonk me on the head. I am so much better off treating my body well!

While I'm not courageous enough to share a picture of my right now, I will share a picture of me from when I made lifetime:It's my motivation, you are a witness, and I ask you to hold me accountable.

I am on my way to my goal weight.
Again.

The number of times doesn't matter so much, as long as I get there.
Let's do it!

Recipe: Seven Layer Dinner

Seven Layer Dinner

Servings: 6

2 cups sliced potatoes
1 1/2 cups celery
1 lb. cooked extra lean ground beef
1 cup onion
1/2 cup chopped green pepper
1 1/2 cups sliced carrots
2 cups diced tomatoes with juice
1 1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper

Place first 7 ingredients in greased 2 1/2 quart casserole in order listed. Season each layer with salt & pepper.

Bake, uncovered, for 1 hour at 350 degrees.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Notes: We had this last night for the first time and it was very tasty. (I guess those veggies added a lot of flavor!) Any time we have ground beef, I only get the 96% lean, the only cut approved by the American Heart Association. I often find it on sale at Meijer for $2.99/pound.

This dish (at least for me) needed slightly more than hour (the potatoes were not soft at only one hour). I also added in a tiny amount of water, as well as covered it for part of the time near the end.

We voted it a definite do-again here! By the way, for any Weight Watchers people, this recipe is 100% Core.