You Don't Say

"Make Sure to get enough sleep. Being over-tired can be a trigger for snacking and overeating."
Tip #59, Weight Watchers Ultimate 3 Month Tracker


Um, yeah....
Funny I read that today. 
I have really been struggling lately with my eating and (lack-of) exercising.
Without a doubt, it's directly related to the major sleep issues happening over here. As in Cillian waking about every 2 hours most of the summer. 


I know, I know..."let him cry".
I have some issues with that, and quite frankly, I stink at it.
I can handle the 1st time he goes down for the night, but in the middle of the night?


That's where I am right now, up 3 pounds. :( Im not happy about it, but yesterday I got myself back on track. 
Now if only that cute 6-month old of mine would sleep again...

Why I Watch The Biggest Loser (warning: long post)

Because no matter what the number on the scale shows, I will always feel the "me" from the above picture, with all the extra weight. 

You don't forget how it feels to be uncomfortable in your own skin.

You don't forget the way it feels to have your pants restricting your breathing when you bend over.

You don't forget the way it feels to be hopeful when grabbing a size 12 in the dressing room, only to find it's not worth the squeezing required to wear the clothing. 

You don't forget feeling like the fat one, feeling not-pretty, and self-conscious at all times.

No matter what the number on the scale shows, at least for me, the fat-Sharon that once was, always resides in a place within me.

When I watch The Biggest Loser, I can really relate to the contestants.

Grant it, I was never so morbidly obese. 

But it doesn't take morbidly obese. 

On the show, you see Jillian & Bob "counseling" the contestants to learn what triggered their weight issues. Most of the time, it's not solely a physical problem (can't always blame the thyroid!).

For me, most of my weight packed on following my miscarriage in March 2006.

I was 16 weeks along, it was completely unexpected, and I was an emotional mess. 

(the picture above is me one month after the miscarriage, at my friend's wedding)

I turned to raw cookie dough, fast food, and ice cream. 

I was depressed.

Money was tight, too, which didn't help any.

I felt I lost control of my life. 

I was sinking financially. 

I was dealing with a 2 year old living up to the "terrible twos".

I was living in MI blocks away from my in-laws, yet 12 HOURS away from my own family.

I am a planner. I like control. I like to know what will happen, when.

I'm not huge on surprises. 

So when life goes according to another plan, it's quite the curveball. 

Before I ever watched The Biggest Loser, I had tried the 30 Day Shred (Jillian Michaels).

That, combined with Weight Watchers, helped me achieve my goal weight.

Actually, my goal weight, and I went on to lose an additional 14 pounds.

I also fell in love with The Biggest Loser's Last Chance Workout. I miss it & can't wait to start it again after this baby is born.

My weight was down to 124 this past May. I had not seen 124 since before my wedding. (I was 126 when I got married). I was more toned than I think I was even while dancing in high school.

 I have a picture of my stomach, but I'm not sure I want to share it. (some of you have seen it). But even to my surprise, in the picture, you see stomach muscles. Definition. Awesome.

Shopping for clothes was fun again.

Wearing shorts was comfortable.

I didn't sweat just putting on a swimsuit in public.

I walked in the neighborhood without people thinking "there goes the fat girl".

You don't forget how all of that feels, either.

Now I'm nearly 20 weeks pregnant.

While this baby was deliberately planned for, etc., it goes without saying I've put on weight.

And before you say it, it is NOT all baby weight.

I've started eating like the old-Sharon, and I don't know why.

Well, I actually do think I know why.

Morning sickness came the end of June, lasted until recently, and my energy vanished. I started sleeping more. And I could only eat carbs.

My diet drastically changed.

I lost control.

I lost control of what I could eat, because my normal lunches before, made me sick.

I lost control of my own body, for the sake of growing another human. It's worth, it YES.

But deep down, I don't think I'll feel control again until I am no longer pregnant.

This was me this past June:

Do you see a difference from the 1st picture? 

I'm still no beauty queen or anything, but I do think the weight difference is noticeable.

I aim to get back there. 

I go through spurts of trying to resume my healthy eating habits and exercise, but my stomach and energy don't always cooperate. 

I watch The Biggest Loser, and nearly every episode I cry with the contestants. 

I was never that big, but mentally I've felt that big, and even though I'm pregnant, I feel that big again.

I hang on to their transformations, and try to keep my own in mind.

That's why I watch The Biggest Loser.

Lastly, for anyone who thinks it was easy for me to tone up or lose weight, or who says I don't have the place to speak as I do, look at that 1st picture again.

It was never easy for me.

I had to build up my stamina to walk & use weights.

I had to plan for healthy meals & force myself into liking veggies, etc.

Heck, I had to train myself to drink WATER.

Easy does not describe it for me. 

Not before, and I'm sure not when i start back again.

Worth it, though?

Definitely.

It's Nice to See You Again

Ah, today I reunited with a number on the scale I hadn't seen since 2003. Since I got pregnant with my oldest, 6 years ago. It's been way too long.

I debated about making this post, because I certainly don't want to come off as one who is bragging.
Because you know what? This didn't happen easily for me.

My weight-loss journey has been a very long one.
One with many ups & downs, and more downs than ups.

I have worked very hard over the past few months to achieve a weight I am happy with.
It's taken a lot of hard work...many hours of exercise, much menu planning, looking endlessly for recipes that are low fat & still enjoyable.
It's doing the daunting task of writing everything down that I eat, measuring servings, going to meetings for motivation, turning to friends for inspiration.
It's meant being selfish at times, putting my need to exercise over my family's wanting to play a game, etc.  (no worries, most of the time it's only 25 minutes!)

So because of all of that, I can post this, because I worked hard for it.
I will have to continue to work hard to maintain this, for the rest of my life.
Exercising and eating well are not a stage. No, it's a lifestlye change I've gradually made over the last 6 years.
Best of all, it's a change I am happy my boys will grow up knowing.
Wheat vs white, diet vs regular, baked vs fried...it may sound trivial or like something to roll your eyes at. but it's good health. I value good health.

There was a day I thought the 120's would not be a number I'd see on the scale again.
I foolishly excused it, telling myself that I'm a mother now, and it's harder for moms to be a healthy weight.

That is true. But being a mom, in my opinion, makes it that much more important to aim for healthiness.
I'm not much away from 130's, but my personal goal was to just even see 129.9 on the scale. Today I saw 129.8 (never thought I'd publicly list my weight...lordy lordy). I could be smaller, thinner, but I am happy. I have this, written here, now, to remind myself I can do it. If the day comes where I don't believe again, I can come back to this.

I am a 29 year old woman who has had 3 pregnancies. I am a woman who doesn't have the money to spend on all fresh-all organic foods. I work with a grocery budget of $150 every 2 weeks.
I stay home, have no gym membership, and a husband who is gone to grad school a few nights a week.
All of that used to be reasons excuses why I was a higher weight, or why I wasn't exercising.
I had no gym. I had a lack of money to eat healthy. I had a body that endured 3 pregnancies.

Guess what? That doesn't matter. A tight budget, using your home as a gym, whatever...it can be done.
This post here, this is my reality check.

These words I am pouring out into the world, right now, are my "hey you!" words.
If I say I can't again, I will read this.
Because I can.
And so can you.

Six Pounds Makes a BIG Difference

Much more than I thought.

You all know I've grown accustomed to doing the shred. What can I say? I love the work-outs and the short amount of time it requires. It just really works with my schedule right now.

I've done all 3 levels. Not to perfection, but I have done each level consistently since May.

I only had two 5-pound weights, so that's what I've used. 10 pounds total still made for a good stress on my muscles.

I was getting bored with level 3 (even though I was nowhere near perfection with it), and believe it or not I had skipped the shred for almost 8 days.

You can go ahead & pick your jaws up off the floor.

I have implemented my new plan. :)

See that? Ignore the dorky aspect of the picture (I was trying to look tough...ha!). I'm showing my 8-pound weights! 3 more pounds per weight, and I'm shredding now with 6 extra pounds than before. (oh yeah, and ignore the upside down 8)

I have started back to level 1 using the 8-pounders, trying to follow Natalie the entire time.

You can laugh at me now, because let me say I did not expect 6 pounds to make such a difference. WOW. I did it just once so far, and I am sore. Even my legs. Doing those darned squats with the weights, and my legs are yelling at me for a sauna or something.

I plan to start today without missing a day. I am back to counting my points as of today (took time away while vacationing), and I hope to shred each day. I really enjoy it, and my body is finally to a point where it craves exercise. I can say in all honesty I didn't think I'd reach this point again. I have not been to this point since I danced in high school.

Oh, and please note that the picture was taken after I exercised, so I'm sweaty and icky.

I do shower, I swear. ;)

Level 3 & the Big-Boy Bed

I'm talking about two different topics here, people. I hope your minds were not in the gutter! ;)

Today brought 2 new adventures for us: the biggest was transitioning Brennan from his crib to a big-boy bed. The other was me doing level 3 of the shred for the first time.

Brennan:
From the beginning, Brennan has been our "crib baby". Aidan was a co-sleeper from day 1, but Brennan has always liked his space. He's our kid that slept in a crib, making new territory familiar to us. (in a good way) However, ever since Milwaukee, he stopped sleeping through the night.
NOT FUN.
I took him to the doctor to rule out any physical problems. Thankfully nothing was found.
We noticed he was resisting all sleep in his crib. He has completely stopped napping, too. The days are feeling pretty long lately...
We got to talking, and Pat shared with me that he felt Brennan would start sleeping better in a big-boy bed. Fortunately we had another twin bed available. It just meant de-bunking the bunk beds & buying some bedding stuff.

Today was the day.

After church this morning we attempted to put Brennan down for a nap, like we've been doing the past 2 weeks. Nothing. Sure enough he was resisting to his fullest potential.
So with Pat actually being home, we got busy. The bunk beds are no more, and the crib is out of sight. (yes, this momma teared up when the crib came down. Think it's time for baby #3?)
Brennan went from this:

To this:

Their room looks completely different, but so much better.

Before:

After:

Brennan's new big-boy bed Ta-da! Finally 2 sleeping little boys

It will be an adjustment, but hopefully a good change and a fast one, at that.
We did have to get them to sleep separately, then move Aidan back once asleep. Brennan was way too excited over his new Lightning McQueen blanket, as well as he wouldn't stop inviting Aidan to "jump bed", as he calls it. Why sleep when you can have so much fun jumping on the bed?!
Regardless, they are both asleep now, and I am hoping that this change brings back Brennan's good sleeping habits. This momma sure misses her sleep!

And why do I need my rest? Because I am wearing myself out doing the shred!
I love it, though. I absolutely love this workout & am happy to say I am seeing results. I am 0.4 pounds away from being back to my Weight Watchers goal weight, but I'd like to lose even a little more and continue toning up. It's hard, but I am enjoying it.

Level 1 was tough, level 2 a little harder, but whoa nelly...level 3 is much harder!
I was huffing & puffing just a few minutes into it. Jillian Michaels has you doing jumping jacks with weights! Come on! Good calorie-burning stuff. My body just isn't used to it. I plan to do level 3 again tomorrow, and all week. Maybe even John & Erin will do it with me at the end of the week when we see them. What do you guys say? ;)

Shredding at level 3, bidding an unknown good-bye to our crib...changes. Small things add up, don't they?
20-some minutes a day is toning up my body, and sleeping in a twin bed is making my "baby" seem so much bigger.

Confessions

Why is it we love the dirt on other people?
Does it make us feel more normal?

Just wondering...

So I have a confession to make.
Remember not too long ago I made a post stating that I had made lifetime with Weight Watchers? (Lifetime means you've reached & maintained your goal weight for a minimum of 6 weeks)

Yeah, well, here is the confession: I have not been to WW in a long time, and sadly, I am far from my goal weight. Not nearly as far as when I initially joined after Brennan was born, but far enough.

I should have joined in on Amy's Biggest Loser contest. I just wasn't ready. I am a huge emotional eater and I've been doing so much of that. Between Pat being in grad school, moving, needing a new roof, and now some flooring issues, food has been a very present best friend.

Is food a problem? No, so long as it's the right food.

I've chosen all the wrong foods. In excess.
And I know better.

Today was a new day, though, and back to Weight Watchers I went.
It's amazing how motivating those meetings are! I need them. If I ever let myself not go again (at least twice a month), come over and bonk me on the head. I am so much better off treating my body well!

While I'm not courageous enough to share a picture of my right now, I will share a picture of me from when I made lifetime:It's my motivation, you are a witness, and I ask you to hold me accountable.

I am on my way to my goal weight.
Again.

The number of times doesn't matter so much, as long as I get there.
Let's do it!

Shake, Rattle & Roll

Jazzercise: I've joined, started shaking it, and my rolls have been rattled.

I was skeptical I'd like it.
Back it up: I was skeptical it'd even be challenging. Boy was I wrong!

I have done two classes so far. Let me tell ya, I feel it! Especially when I go up and down the stairs. (carrying the laundry basket upstairs today was challenging)
As they say on their site, "Jazzercise is a 60-minute class incorporating cardio, strength, and stretch moves for a total body workout. We’ve taken moves from hip-hop, yoga, Pilates, kick-boxing, and resistance training and bundled them into one hour".
Yup. That sounds about right.
Thankfully Jazzercise is no longer like this. They've caught up with the times and offer a very modern workout, like this.

I decided to try this because of my dance background. So far it's come in use, but I've learned two things: 1.) I should have had more ballet training, and 2) I miss dancing a ton.

My first class they took my measurements and weight. That was humiliating. Don't get me wrong-I was all for it, and I could have opted out. I needed that for motivation. But I actually went down to just my exercise pants and sports bra. Whoa Nelly!!!
In 6 weeks they'll re-do it. I'm hoping for some results. Improvements. There better be.

Now I just need to kick myself into gear for eating the way I know I should. Menu planning, actually sticking to that plan, and not stress eating.

Dang it's easy to stress eat when you're hubby is in grad school, your kids are with you non-stop, your baby has an ear infection, your family is in another state, most of your friends are out of state, and money is tight. Dang dang dang. I've got to work on that.

So what do you do for exercise? What are you eating? How do you manage your weight and keep it where you want it to be?

Since I Made Lifetime

I thought I'd share some things that have worked for me, helped me with weight loss, etc.
If for no one else's benefit, then my own; Having it in print makes for a quick, easy reference. :)

Food Changes:
I couldn't do this over-night. I didn't walk into Weight Watchers, then immediately come home and throw out all the junk food, high-point food, whatever. I slowly targeted areas I needed to work on most.
I started with white bread. I said I would stop buying white sandwich bread. This was mostly for the health benefits of wheat and multi-grain breads, since many wheat breads are the same in terms of points value. (You usually do find more fiber in wheat bread, however.) My preferred sandwich bread became Aunt Millie's Multi-Grain or Fiber for Life Wheat. Did you know Aunt Millie's products list WW points on the back? :) Added bonus. I also found I prefer this brand because most of their sandwich bread is made without high-fructose corn syrup. (You can read about why that is bad for you here).

Another target area (most recent one) has been cookies. I would always have cookies in the house, ya know, for my husband and son. Uh, yea right. Cookies are one item I run out of will-power on quickly. Oatmeal cookies? I love to dunk them in my coffee. Chocolate chip? I can't stop at just one. Since they're not the best for my family, either, I've been trying to buy better alternatives, or at least buy cookies less frequently. We've found graham crackers are a nice alternative, though they're not much healthier.
My personal favorite is the Kashi cookies-Oatmeal Dark Chocolate Chip. I love these things. One is very satisfying, and curbs my sweet craving. Not to mention, too, that they sure keep you pooping! ;)

Other simple food changes: I substitute brown rice for white when possible. Unless you're eating the rice plain & by itself, there's not too much of a noticeable difference. Same with eggs. I substitute egg-beaters for regular eggs. They're not only lower in points, but cholesterol-free, too! Oh, and I drink Diet now if I'm going to have soda/pop. I was a huge regular Coke drinker, but I have adjusted. I still love Coke, but I don't like to drink my calories if I can help it.

The obvious, with any diet plan, is to drink more water. Some days that's easier than others for me. My skin is so much better when I'm downing water.

Planning:
It may seem like a no-brainer, but it doesn't come naturally to everyone. Meal-planning has been a huge part in me reaching my goal weight. Days I don't plan in advance what we're eating (at least the main meals), those are the days I binge eat, or we grab something on the go. (which usually means a Hot & Ready from Little Caesar's). I participate in Menu Plan Monday. I also make a point to try at least a few new recipes each month. I don't need to get bored with what I am eating. If I get bored, then I turn to eating more junk, I start craving things that later make me feel crappy, etc. So I need to keep it interesting, and that means trying several new recipes (when I can). I've found many great sites, too, with Weight Watchers recipes. Most of them list the Points Value-be sure to check for yourself, though.

Sites I've found beneficial:
Aimee's Adventures (Aimee also has a great link page here)
3 Fat Chicks On A Diet
Half My Size
Weight Watchers
Weight Watchers Blog
Cooking Light
Eat Better America
That's My Home
RecipeZaar
All Recipes

Snacking:
Snacking is a must. Don't let yourself believe that you should eat less to lose weight. When we deprive ourselves of something we truly want, we're more likely to wind up binging on that item later, consequently over-eating. We wind up causing more harm than good. So snack! Snack! :)
Snack smarter. Portion-control, lower-fat versions...give yourself some time trying these things, and they may become your new favorites. :)

Some things I like to snack on:
raw baby carrots
Kashi cookies
fruit
apple slices with peanut butter
Sunchips
Baked Lays w/ salsa
Guacamole (mu husband makes the best!)
Chickpeas
94% fat-free butter popcorn
Popsicles
slow-churned ice cream (especially Edy's!)
soup
baked potatoes

And to conclude, I share my confession: Since joining Weight Watchers in May, I have yet to establish a true exercise routine. I go for a walk here or there, but I do not go to any gym or fitness center, I don't do any specific exercise every day or anything like that. Aside form chasing my boys around, I lack in this department. I'm lucky I've lost the weight I've lost, but for health aspects, specifically metabolic reasons, I need to get moving.
Despite that, though, it just goes to show how effective dietary changes can be!

If you're still reading by this point, thank you for letting me share. :) I know that reaching lifetime is not an end, but only another step along the way to being healthy. The support is great!

I Made Lifetime!!!

I'm now a lifetime member with Weight Watchers! Yay!!
I am so excited. I have worked so hard, and it's been such a long time coming. Gosh.

What's a lifetime member? You join Weight Watchers & set your goal weight. Once you hit your listed goal weight, you go on "maintenance" for 6 weeks. Over the next 6 weeks, you need to stay at your goal weight, with 2 pounds of wiggle room. So if you're goal weight is 100 pounds, you're good if you're not above 102.
The best benefit is that Lifetime Membership means no longer paying!! ;) Phew. THAT feels good.

I joined last May, when Brennan was 5 weeks old. I've lost 35 pounds. I'm healthier (weight wise) than I've been since Aidan was a baby. An added bonus: I'm also not too far away from my wedding day weight, should I chose to lose more.

I'm just excited. This was my 3rd time trying Weight Watchers. I didn't think I'd get to this point, so I couldn't resist sharing my excitement. :)
Thanks for listening.

Who ME?!

As we were scanning our items at Kroger this morning, the check-out lady said something to Aidan about his candy and skinny mommy. Me!? Was she talking about me?

I was called skinny. I was called skinny. Me. Today.
I haven't been called that in a long time.

I gave her the biggest smile and told her she made my day.

I also told her I do Weight Watchers, which she showed some interest in.

By the way, I had my weigh in last night. And guess what? I'm down now a total of thirty pounds. :)

I'm Surrounded by Handsome Men

It was all clear last weekend when we were in Michigan for my brother-in-law's wedding. :)
My husband was a groomsmen, and my son Aidan was ring bearer. Being that he's 3, I was a little nervous how he'd do. But he was great! I am so proud of him! And this may sound dorky, but I seriously teared up as he walked down the aisle. I know he's three, but hey, it's my first time seeing him so grown-up looking, and walking down a church aisle with a girl! I know if he gets married, it will seem like tomorrow. It just goes by that fast!

On to showing off how lucky I am, being surrounded by fine looking men and all ;)

Here is a shot of Aidan before the ceremony began, all dressed up:

My proof: Handsome men! (L-R, hubby, bil, fil, other bil, son, and son)
Our family of 4!
It was the cutest thing watching them dance! I also learned my son is becoming quite the ladies man!
Aidan wearing the "party hat"

OK, some explanations. I call Aidan a ladies man because he is. My child has a love for dance, thank God. I danced all growing up, love to dance still, and we share that. You could not keep him off the dance floor! And I tell ya, he has moves! ;) People we didn't even know would come up to us and ask us if we taught him dance moves or if he took lessons. (shock!) He was so cute out there. A slow song would come on, and he just wouldn't get it. He also pulled every single girl out there under the age of 10. He didn't even give them a chance to decline the invitation. He eyed them up, and then dragged them on to the dance floor!

He did break his momma's heart, though. He would not dance with me! At all! I'd come close to him, and he would go the opposite direction! Apparently I wasn't as fun to dance with as the darling little misses that were there. I was heartbroken for the first time, realizing that he's already growing up way too fast *sigh* NOT TO MENTION he and the flower girl kept trying to kiss as the groom and bride did when people would clang their glasses! (and annoying tradition, I might add!)

Later on at the reception, one of my husband's more lively cousins brought out the party hat (sombrero). I don't know why, but sure enough he did and it was hilarious watching people put it on! Aidan especially cracked up. (OK, maybe I'm a little biased being his mom and all)

So there you have it. It was a beautiful wedding and great reception. I'm proud of Aidan doing a great job as ring bearer. And looking at the pics, I feel like a lucky girl with all these handsome men in my life! ;)

I'm Losing More Than My Mind!

And I am happy about it. :)
I've lost over 20 pounds now!!!!
I'm doing my happy dance. *******((()))*******

I had my Weight Watchers weigh in tonight, and I have now lost a total of 21.2 pounds. I can now say I've lost over 20 pounds! Do you know how good that feels? SO GOOD!!!

It's not been super easy, but not terribly hard, either. That's why I love Weight Watchers. It works. It's manageable as a real lifestyle. I tried Atkins before and the cabbage soup diet. Those are (in my experience), temporary weight loss fixes. They aren't plans that make it easy to live that way. (like I could stick to 20g of carbs a day forever!)

Anyway, enough of the promo. ;) I'm just so thrilled right now. I'm closer to my goal weight. Still a ways to go, but closer.

It's a great feeling.

I hit 10%!!!

I found out Tuesday night, but just now got around to sharing the news! I am so excited!

I re-joined Weight Watchers near the end of May at 5 weeks post-partum. (They have a safe weight loss plan for nursing moms) The first major goal you set is to lose 10% of your starting body weight. I did it! I've lost a little more than that, now, for a total so far of 17.2 pounds!

I am so happy and feel so much better about myself. I'm starting to recognize my body again. :)
Do you know what that feels like? I can describe it as looking in the mirror, and seeing yourself instead of a stranger that resembles you. It feels GOOD.

I still have a ways to go until I am at my ultimate goal weight, but hey, I'm on my way to being 20 pounds thinner! This is great motivation. I love it. Weight Watchers really works. It works for me. I can still eat my chocolate and ice cream, and I am losing weight. Woo-hoo!