Almost 24 Weeks

A few people have asked for pregnant-pictures (this is for you, Amanda!), so I figured why not.
We originally intended to take a picture at each week of the pregnancy, then make a book of it to show Baby C later down the road. Yeah, we've slacked on the picture taking. (do any pregnant women like their picture being taken?!)

This was taken yesterday, when unfortunately, no one was around to take a picture other than Brennan;). Hence the cheesy-take-your-own-picture-in-front-of-the-bathroom-mirror pose.
Oh well.

Here I am 23 weeks 5 days pregnant with Baby C:

(yes, yes, lucky me, I gain weight easily in the face)

And side-shot:

(hey, funny facial expression, but it feels unnatural to take your own picture via a mirror!)

So there you have it, folks. I'm better off posting these here than Facebook, since fewer people check here. ;)

I am excited to be almost to my 3rd trimester. I go to the doctor next Wednesday, and then I think I start going twice a month. 

I've been feeling pretty good, especially if you compare this pregnancy to Brennan's (when I had kidney stones at this point). I have the typical reflux, leg cramps, etc. One thing more significant this pregnancy is the amount of Braxton Hicks I notice, as well as pressure in the netherlands and ligament pain. JOY. But hey, it's not my 1st pregnancy, so it's to be expected. 

Baby C is moving quite a bit, even as I type right now. He feels low, and many of his kicks make my bladder think I have no time left to get to the bathroom.

One day, hopefully sooner than later, he will have a definite name. 

Pregnancy #5...and so it goes! 

Baby's 1st Pictures

Taken Friday. :)

The baby is head down, so the round part on bottom is the head, trace up the left and that's the back/bum area. The thing jutting out on the right is the umbilical cord. 

Too early to know the gender (but we will find out).

I know it's blurry, and to most it looks like a blob.

This is our baby right now-almost 9 weeks!

I'M PREGNANT!

(yes, most of you already know this because of Facebook)

I've known since I was 4 weeks, and given my history, went for early blood work and a progesterone screening. Everything looked great.

I told Pat on Father's Day, writing "Hi Daddy" across my belly.

The boys are excited, especially Aidan. He prays at night for a baby sister. I hope he gets his wish.

We're expected to meet this little one February 28.

God's Timing of a Miracle

We all make plans, right?
We plan, to a certain degree, our life.

I plan our weekly meals and post those each Monday. We plan to go to church every Sunday. We make bigger plans, too. For instance, when we got engaged we planned our wedding a year in advance. We also planned to work for such a length of time, and to have 5 children. (Yes, the year we were engaged, my husband and I thought we'd like 5 children). We planned the type of house we'd like to have that would be our permanent home. All of these plans are years in the making.

Two years ago we planned our second child. We were charting at the time, so we knew exactly when I was fertile. The time came, and a few weeks later we saw two lines for a positive pregnancy test. We were excited! Aidan was going to be a big brother. We were going to have our 2nd baby. At that time, we were hoping for a girl. We conceived in November, so it worked out perfectly to tell our families over Christmas, which we did. We had Aidan ready to share the news in his "I'm a Big Brother" shirt. Our due date was August 2006.

Well, as the saying goes, if you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.

He sends us gentle reminders that He is in control. Through those reminders we learn (hopefully) that our lives will be best off if we seek His plans for us. He knows better, after all.

March 2006 we had a lesson in God being in control, once again. At that time we learned we had lost our 2nd baby. I miscarried. We were devastated. I was angry with God. I was hurt and crushed and resentful. WHY would he take something away from us like that? From us, a couple who was respecting His wishes on procreating, being open to life and trying to create a loving home?

Oh, I had every answer in the book. He was a mean God. He took the baby away because we didn't make enough money. That was my biggest answer. He also took the baby away because it was His way of letting me know I was not a good enough mother. He was punishing us for our sins. All of these were rational reasons to me at the time.

March 8, 2006, I had the baby at home and went to the hospital for the d&c to be completed. A few days later I was at my follow-up OB appointment.

I had the best doctor. Not only was he great at being an OB, but he was a practicing Catholic who shared our beliefs. He was an NFP only doctor, an actual practicing Catholic, and he even prayed with me. I felt more than comfortable with him.

At this appointment, he was trying to comfort me. He had explained all of the physical things. He explained that there was nothing wrong with me or my body. My uterus was still healthy. My ovaries were healthy, etc. The physical healing would take much less time than the emotional and mental healing. (Not to say a parent ever "gets over it" when it comes to having lost a child, not matter if it happens right after conception, or when they are a full grown adult) I will always miss my baby.

What my doctor went on to tell me was so important. At the time, I had no idea how significant it'd be to me, even to this day. He shared with me that he and his wife also suffered this loss, and they knew what I was going through. He told me that when we are pregnant again, and holding that healthy new baby in our arms, we'll look at that baby and know that he wouldn't be here as he is if not for losing this baby when we did. He assured me God is in control, called this soul Home, and there would be peace in time.

Sure enough, he was right. Speaking from faith and experience, he gave me something to hold on to.


Back to God's sense of humor...

We lost the baby in March. That following August we found out we were expecting, again! Here is the humorous aspect to it: I found out I was pregnant with my 3rd baby the same very month and time I was due (originally) to have our 2nd. It was around the baby's due date that we lost! I don't think that was just coincidence. I think it was God.

So here we are the end of August, once again. I could have had a one year old this month! That 2nd baby of ours would have been one here on earth.

Instead, I have Aidan, who turned 3 in April, and Brennan, who is going on 5 months already.

And yes, when we held Brennan for the first time, there were so many joyous tears. Tears of relief, too. I did feel this particular sense of peace. Holding him, I knew that with the timing of losing our 2nd baby, that was the only way Brennan came to us when he did. Our 2nd baby was a part of Brennan's timing. God helped us out, and in my heart, I know our little one in heaven did, too.

God timed this miracle for us. As I grew sad close to my should-have-been due date, God flooded our hearts with joy at the news of a new baby for our family. This time around, we had our own little angel in heaven to help us.

HIS timing for a miracle...the best timing. I am so grateful.

Random Posting

Being home with a newborn and going on very little sleep, I reserve the right to make very random blog posts. :)

-Tell me again why babies prefer to be up all night?
-The after pains really are worse after the first baby. I feel them much more this time around, and I am still pretty sore, already 5 days after delivering. No fun.

-I miss Aidan. He is home with us and everything, but I really miss him. If I was in his shoes, I'd think this is the worst week of my life. He's being told no so frequently, and new rules, etc. I feel sad for him. I know this has to be hard. I miss doing the regular things with him like before. I wish he could only understand more and know I love him just as much.

-hormones are a real -itch. so is the post-partum body. It's not nice.

-I'm glad we had another boy. It's neat seeing how much like Aidan he is, yet how much he is his own person.

-Nursing really hurts right now. If you could say a prayer....I really want to nurse for a long time and offer what's best for Brennan. It just hurts to a decent degree. I don't want to get too discouraged.

THANK YOU for all the prayers during this difficult pregnancy. It means more than you know. It's hard to believe we're finally a family of four now.

Introducing Brennan James!

After long hours of labor, Brennan James finally made his entrance into this world at 11:13 this afternoon. :) He weighed in at 7 pounds, 2 ounces, measuring 20 1/2 inches long.

He has a head full of light hair--with a bit of a baby Mohawk! lol.

He has been nursing like a champ already.

We're so thrilled to be at this point.

More pictures are for sure to come, but for now, here is one of his Mohawk, and a slightly better one with his eyes actually open. :)

Thanks for all the prayers, by the way!

FALSE ALARM :(

I'm exhausted, embarrassed, ticked, and did I mention exhausted?

Contractions woke me around 1:30 this morning. By about 3 a.m. they were near every 8-10 mins. apart, more intense with each one. Stinging in the cervical area, not able to sleep--you get the picture.
They got to be 7 mins. apart, so by 4:00 this morning I called the Dr. to see what he'd say. He told me to go to the hospital. I was feeling a ton of pressure. Being my 3rd delivery, he said don't labor too long at home. Things could move quickly.

So I wake up my in-laws at 4:15, hubby starts to get everything together, and my in-laws drive over an hour to get here to stay with Aidan. I contracted 3 times on the way to the hospital, which is a 20 min. drive.

So they monitor me. Pick up a few contractions, but I wasn't really dilated past 1cm. Cervix still high. They had us walk around for an hour.
Come back. Another cervical check-no changes. Nothing. And now, the contractions had almost stopped. I got sent home.

False alarm. It stinks. No baby. No progress, yet still contracting about 10-12 mins. since we've been home. I feel miserable, exhausted, and if this isn't labor, I sure hope these darn contractions STOP so I can at least get some sleep tonight.
I have an apt. w/ the OB tomorrow at 9:40. Another ridiculously uncomfortable cervical check. I HATE those things.

I am paranoid now I won't know when it's the real deal, unless my water breaks. So I hope that happens now. And the next time we leave the hospital, my baby better be coming home with us!

CALLING ALL MOMS

Late at night like this my mind wanders...especially with labor possible at any moment now!
So a few questions for moms willing to answer:
1.) Nursing pads-any suggestions for washable ones? I've only used disposable. I've grown to like the Lansinoh best. Heard great things about Lily Padz, but the suction thingy throws me off.
2.) Diva Cup-Yes or no? Again, never tried it, but heard great things about it. I know they say not to use tampons right away postpartum. Would you say the same about the diva cup?
3.) Slings-Should I really expect not to use my baby in it the 1st 2 weeks or so?
4.) Weight loss-any tips in advance? I don't want to be huge for long. :(
5.) 7th Generation diapers- Never tried them but very interested. Are they as soft as Pampers Cruisers? I've heard their wipes are really rough. Is that true?
6.) Prayers- I had some PPD issues after my first was born. I don't expect it this time around, but it makes me nervous at the possibility of going through that again. What's better than prayer? (and thanks in advance!)

I know I wanted mom-opinions on something else, but can't remember! Don't you hate that?
Well, thanks for taking a minute to share your opinions with me. :)
Sleep tight!

Pregnancy Update: 37 wks, 3 days

It's been a while since I did a pregnancy update.
I've posted a lot today-can you tell I actually managed to NOT fall asleep while getting my son down for his nap? :) It's rare, but does happen.
I was enjoying a visit at Between Diapers and Dishes and loved the cartoon she has posted. I can't resist posting it here, as well. It's describes me at this point perfectly!

I'm sure any woman who has ever been pregnant can relate (and agree it's all worth it). New for me is my willingness to share a picture of me at this point in the pregnancy. I always hate pictures of myself pregnant, but then regret not having any after the baby is born (and I feel/look myself again). So here's a bump picture -me and Brennan inside my belly. I feel huge and this probably shows it! Anyone interested in making a birthday prediction? When will our new son arrive? I have 2.5 weeks until my actual due-date, but those don't really mean anything, if you ask me. I had an ultrasound last Tuesday, and the baby is very low (been feeling that!) and the estimation was 6 lbs., 10 oz. I know those are not super accurate, but that's the latest info I have. My oldest was born at 39 weeks. I go for an other check-up tomorrow.

So give me your guess! WHEN will I get to meet our new baby?!

UPDATE! Pregnancy & Doctor Appointment

I posted yesterday that I'd update.
Sorry it's late-we went out to dinner to celebrate!!! :)

I had a very good check-up yesterday. I am so pleased and excited!
For the first time since practically January, there was no blood in my urine!!! This is GREAT news. I went knowing I hadn't needed a pain pill in a week, but I've gone through that before, only to be disappointed by the urinalysis. NOT THIS TIME! NO BLOOD!

I smiled so big & got so happy you'd think I had the baby.
I most likely did pass the stone. Of course they can't say for sure until the Urologist sees me postpartum, but my OB was pretty confident. In his professionalism he did remind me there may be more stones, and this could happen again. Ah. I'm just focusing on the baby, now. One thing out, one more to go! LOL.

My non-stress test was great. Baby is moving well, great heartbeat, etc. My doctor told me my weight gain is good (although more than I prefer), BP is fine, as is my cholesterol. (I had a question on that based on results from a physical)

Even better news....as long as it continues this way, I will not have to be induced. Thank you, God! I really wanted to go into labor naturally. I wanted our new son to be born on the day he was meant by God, not the scheduled date of the hospital-know what I mean?

So I am almost 35 weeks along and all I feel now is the normal range of pregnancy discomforts and annoyances. I know I won't feel top-notch any time soon, but getting that good news yesterday brightened me up so much. You can't imagine! I was so happy last night. I'm still happy this morning, just tired. ;)

Kind of Excited

I shouldn't get my hopes up, but I have.
I go today for my weekly OB apt.

I think there's a good possibility I passed the kidney stone(s)!
I can happily say now I haven't had to take any Vicodin since last Tuesday. :) My back isn't hurting in that isolated kidney area, and the bladder spasms have eased up.
I am hopeful!

I know back in January they thought it was passed, too, and it obviously wasn't since I spent a week in the hospital last month. And I know my OB said it's unlikely I'll pass it before I have the baby....but I'm still hopeful. Fingers are crossed. ;)

This would be great. Not being on the pain pills and without a stone in me, they wouldn't have to induce me and I could go into labor naturally, as I wanted. I know some people who loved being induced for planning's sake, but I am not a fan of Pitocin.

I still have some bladder spasms and of course discomforts, but I think that's just a part of being almost 35 weeks pregnant. Plus the baby feels much lower to me, so I would feel things differently internally from that alone, right?

My appointment is at 2:00 this afternoon. Hopeful me will update when I get home.

What a Week!

I spent this week in the hospital.
Thank God Baby is fine.

Sunday it started again with the intense pain like I had in January. I tried to tough it out and use heating pads and Tylenol. It got to a point where I couldn't handle the pain, so we went to the hospital.

I knew I'd be admitted, but I expected to go home the next day again. NOPE.

They made sure the baby was fine and that I wasn't having contractions, and soon I had some relief with a shot of Demerol. It's assumed, again, that this is a kidney stone issue.
The difference was, this time when the Demerol wore off, the pain kept coming back. And no stone has passed. (even still!)

So Monday rolled around. Saw the Urologist, heard the same info. we did last time. The pain was sharper and worse than January. My frustration level was higher, too.

I wound up staying until late last night. Meaning we didn't get home until 11:00 p.m.

The doctors didn't want to discharge me until I had gone a full 24 hours without a shot of Demerol. That was my relief for "breakthrough"pain. Aside from that, I've been on oral pain killers, Perceset (not sure of the spelling). However, I was only given that every 6 hours, and that wasn't always enough to sustain the pain.

I tried. Believe me I tried. I wanted to be out of there, I don't like taking all this stuff while pregnant, and I've never been away from my son for so long. It's been such a hard week.

Being in the hospital this long (a first for me) made me realize I absolutely hate being vulnerable. I hate having to rely on someone else for e very little thing. Need to go to the bathroom? Call the nurse. Need something to drink? Call the nurse. Need anything? Call the nurse! I felt like a pest, an inconvenience, and a weakling.

I will say there is total truth when people say this pain is worse than labor pains. Having experienced both, I know first-hand. And God Bless the nurses...many of them told me a kidney stone is bad enough, but a stone while pregnant, well, that's just hell.

I'm on heavy duty painkillers. They make me feel loopy, dizzy, drunk, etc.
I do not feel ok with taking these while pregnant at all. And I am concerned, because what am I to do if I don't pass the stone soon? I won't go 9 more weeks on pain pills with a baby inside!
Please say a prayer something works out.

I need to go lay down. This is my scattered post of an update.

Pregnancy Update

I am 30 weeks tomorrow!
Almost to the home stretch, right? I believe it's only 6 more weeks until the baby could be born without being considered a preemie. THAT makes me very happy. :)

I've realized that my body doesn't get along with pregnancy.
I have a hard time accepting this.
As women, I feel we are blessed to be able to embrace pregnancy. Sure, labor can stink, etc., and it'd be nice for men to go through it. But we are the only ones that GET to. We, women, are the ones chosen to have such exclusive participation in this miracle. It may have gross parts and everything, but only WE can do it. That's pretty amazing.

So when my body constantly acts in a negative way to pregnancy, it makes me feel weak. I feel less of a woman, especially when other pregnant women I know are doing just fine- no problems or complaints. I'm happy for them, but also jealous and irritated.

You may read this post and interpret it as me venting or complaining. I don't care. I AM venting!
I guess I don't "offer it up" very well. I don't suffer silently, bla bla bla.

The 1st issue, of course, has been my stress level and anxiety during this pregnancy.
If you've never suffered a miscarriage, you truly cannot understand this. To you it would look like I am paranoid. Fortunately I have a great group online of mothers who have also suffered a loss, then went on with following pregnancies. Because of them I know I am not paranoid, but rather have very normal feelings and fears. One day, it's just your body. The next, your body is no longer your own, but host to growing another human. It's a major responsibility, and thinking your body could betray you again is a horrible feeling.

See, I don't feel I trust my body any more. I don't have confidence in it to do as it should. It betrayed me once, ( I feel), so why I should be walking around without the doubt it will betray me again?
That uneasiness has made me nervous with every pregnancy ill I've felt. (with the exception of the usual morning sickness)

You may recall I had some bad luck switching doctors when we moved from Michigan to Ohio.
I loved my OB in Michigan. Not only was he patient and incredible, but he shared the same beliefs and values we do. I fully trusted him. 110%. That is very hard to come by with someone in the medical field.

We moved as I was nearing the end of my 1st trimester. I went by suggestions of other moms here. I wasn't able to find an OB from onemoresoul.org within our mileage, so I accepted that I'd be going to a typical OB.
My 1st visit with the new place was not good. I saw the nurse practitioner (required there), and she mocked us for practicing NFP, wanted to know why I hadn't "protected" myself from my husband, and asked if this pregnancy was planned. At this point it didn't matter-I was almost 16 weeks along! She had no need to ask such rude questions. And yes, she was rude in the manner she asked. She then proceeded to push me on having genetic testing done, since the baby we miscarried died from Trisomy 18. I never plan on having an amnio, as it's just too invasive for my liking, She wouldn't drop it the first time I said no. She went on to tell me I should test "before it's too late", if you know what she meant. I felt badgered there. Angry and not pleased at all.

My next visit went a little better with the actual doctor, but he even reminded me of my options for genetic testing. Wasn't it in my file that I declined those tests? I know it was, because a paper with my signature was included with that decline.

So the new year rolls around. Our insurance changed again, and I was pleased. NOW I had the option to return to my Michigan OB. It'd be 60 miles one way, but very worth it.

January 2nd-I try to nap with my son, and this intense pain hits me. It's not going away and only getting worse. It very much reminded me of when I was in labor. Only there was no break from the pain, like the break you get between contractions. I couldn't stand up right or walk. It was horrible. I was praying it wasn't early labor, and that I wasn't losing the baby. The pain was so intense, though, I was not remaining rational. I called my OB. She said to go to the hospital, as it could be pre-term labor. This practice is only 2 mins. away, so I asked if I could go there, knowing they could determine if I was in labor She actually said to me "what do you want ME to do about it?"
Holy cow. She had sunk even lower than before. Completely outraged, I asked which hospital to go to.

She sent me to a great hospital, except it's one they don't have privileges at! Nice OB practice, right?
Thank God the baby was fine. They discharged me with the diagnosis that it was either the bad position of the baby, or a kidney stone. Because I am pregnant, they couldn't do all the testing to know for sure.

My stay in the hospital taught me that this OB has been known for doing this. He sends his patients to the hospital he does not even work out of! I met a better OB while I stayed the night in the hospital, and he told me they'd accept me as a patient, even though I was 22 weeks along.

I switched to that OB. His nurse has been wonderful. If I didn't have the scare and feel better being so close to the hospital, I would've gone back to my Michigan OB.

So then 3 weeks ago I get some virus. A stomach bug. The nurse said it usually lasted 3 days, but mine lingered for 7. That next day I had my regular OB visit. Routine urine sample, listen to the heartbeat, etc.
The dr. informs me there is blood in my urine, and I give a lab sample. They say I am at the onset of a bladder infection. So I start an antibiotic that night.
Did you know bladder infections/UTIs are big triggers of labor? Or in my case, pre-term labor? They were being very "proactive", which I am grateful for.

I completed my Rx and Saturday go for my glucose test for gestational diabetes. I felt sick that day, assuming it was just from that insanely sweet drink they make you consume. The feelings become more menstrual, and I am starting to feel uneasy again. All I can think in my head is "it's too early. The baby is only 2 pounds right now!"
It persisted on Sunday, so Monday I am on with the nurse again. My dr. is at the hospital, but they have me come in to be monitored. They confirmed it was no contractions or labor, but there was even more blood in my urine. Apparently that first Rx did nothing. I'm getting irritated! I thought we caught the infection at its early stage? I went on meds right away! I was annoyed to hear it actually got worse.
So they changed my RX and I'm on another antibiotic. Both nurses reminded me that these infections could lead to early labor, so watch my body signs.

I've been on meds for the past 2 weeks now. The week before that I was taking a lot of Immodium. I am NOT comfortable with all of these things entering my system while I am pregnant!
And what seems worse, is that I am still having menstrual feelings and stinging pains. It's hard to know the difference. Some of them do feel similar to labor pains. I don't know what is going on. After 5 doses of the new, stronger Rx, I didn't expect to still feel the infection as I do. So I wonder if they've missed something. I worry if I am dilating. AGH!

I know I am annoying the people around me with my constant vocalization of what I feel inside. Yes, I am worried. Maybe I don't need to be. If it was just ME, it's be a lot easier to ignore things. But it's not. It's ME respsonsible for this baby. This baby that is loved by so many family members. I just don't want to screw it up or miss a bad signal, which could hurt the baby.

I'd love to know why my body is constantly acting up. WHY? My first pregnancy was not like this!
I truly feel that I HATE being pregnant. I haven't felt myself in 30 weeks! That is depressing and an awful long time to feel so poorly. And I am not looking for pain. I have never been known as a hypochondriac, either.

Right now I just want to feel semi-good again. I need to clean and prepare for this baby. I need to be more active with my almost 3 year old. He's been watching way too much tv because I've been on the couch with the heating pad, feet up. The house is filthy. I haven't cooked in some time.
Yuck.

So there's my pregnancy update! lol. I am laughing to myself,wondering what you're going to think as you read this. (and if you're still reading at THIS point, bless you!)
I'm excited to meet this baby.
I want to adopt any future children we have. Seriously. My body is mean during pregnancy. MEAN.

I'm shopping this weekend for some of the baby things we still need before he can come home.
I hope to feel well enough.

For those of you who enjoy pregnancy, and whose bodies are good to you, LUCKY! I hope you know you are fortunate. :)

Still 15 weeks to go...

During pregnancy, ever get that feeling where you're ready to beg for your body to be normal again? Well, folks, I've reached that point. I know, I'm not really at the 3rd trimester yet. I know. Ugh!

This week I've felt very ready to regain control of my body. Pregnancy stinks. I'm just not a girl that loves being pregnant. (no reflection on the baby here).

I don't know if it's because it's my 3rd pregnancy or what, but let me tell ya, my stomach already feels maxed out to capacity. I wasn't this big til the very end with my first! I'm just complaining today. I feel I've earned it. If it makes me look weak, so be it!

Can anyone relate? Or are all of you readers the type that loved being pregnant?

Starting off the New Year with a trip to the ER

Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Intense pain set in yesterday. Mostly lower back near my right hip. Worse than labor pains.
Called my OB.
Evil nurse practitioner suggested pre-term labor and had me go straight to the hospital. (I asked her if I could avoid that and come there so they could check my cervix...You know what she said?! She said "well what do you want me to do about it?" Can you believe that?)

Pain is getting worse so a friend drove me to the hospital. Hubby met us there.
They took me to LDR right away just in case.
Turns out my OB doesn't even work out of that hospital, even though evil nurse practitioner told us to go there.

Finally after about an hour they were able to give me something for pain relief. Shortly thereafter they told me baby is fine and I was not in labor. (praise GOD!)

The dermerol made me vomit 3 times. That stuff is so loopy.
Ultrasound done to look for kidney stone.
Bloodwork drawn.
Catheter urine sample taken. (ouch and burn!)
IV put in by student-again OUCH! and bruising.

Pain relief switched to morphine.
Urine samples being drained to look for kidney stones.
Finally SLEEP...and pain relief.

We stayed the night in the hospital. Because I am pregnant, they can not perform all the tests they'd normally run to know for sure if it's a kidney stone. It may just be the way the baby was resting and applying pressure on my kidney, restricting urine flow. We can't know for sure.
So I am home now, draining my urine each time I go. Looking for stones.
I pray the worst is over. They said it could happen again. I really hope not. It was pain worse than labor pains.

So 2 days into our new insurance, we've made good use of it.
Happy New Year.

22 week apt review/genetic testing/confusion

Today I had my prenatal appointment. I'm 22 weeks along. Good heartbeat. Yay! This was my 2nd time with the new OB office. (moving & changing jobs meant changing insurance, thus doctors). My first impression of this practice was not a favorable one. They require you to see the nurse practitioner only the first visit. She was the type that treated pregnancy more like a disease rather than state of being. She was also the one who mocked our choice of practicing NFP, and smirked that "we weren't using protection". I so badly wanted to say "what do you think I need to protect myself from when I am with my husband?!". I never did, though. She was also the one who encouraged me to have genetic testing done during this pregnancy. I declined and scheduled only the big u/s they do around 20 weeks.

That's why I had a not-so-great first impression. I could understand her asking about me using birth control, but the word "protection", as if I was some high-school student that came in knocked up? No thank you.

The actual doctor was much friendlier and accepting of our choices. He prescribes birth control and everything, but also knows enough about NFP to know it is safe and effective. Good. He didn't mock us. Always a plus to make the patient feel comfortable. He listened to the heartbeat and then wanted to double check with me that I actually did decline the genetic testing, the quad test. I told him that was correct, I did decline. He was then very curious about this. Not pushy or a jerk like the n.p., but definitely wanted to make sure I understood what I was telling him. He said he felt I'd like to know of any problems, especially given my history. perplexity sets in.

My history? Here is my history. No problems during first pregnancy. Very healthy, though somewhat long, labor and delivery. Cute baby boy as you can see in the picture post below.
Second pregnancy started off just fine with no signs of complications. Turns out our 2nd baby died from Trisomy 18. My OB that handled everything explained that it was nothing particular to my genes or my husband's. He said it was one of those unfortunate fluke things that sometimes happens. It was that particular genetic make-up of that baby we lost. It was no indication of possible problems with future children.

Since he told me that and I trust him, I never convinced myself of the need to have genetic testing done during this pregnancy. I can understand the new doctor offering the info. to me. After all, that is his job. But he was so darn convincing, and now I am not sure if I am making the right decision! Yes, of course I'd like to know of any problems with the baby! I love to be prepared for any and all things. I have never felt that an invasive amnio would be worth that, however. Maybe it's not as invasive as I once thought? I don't know. I love my unborn baby. Declining the test shows nothing of the opposite. The doctor and nurse indicated I may regret not knowing of any possible problems. Yes, maybe. But would I not regret the amnio to some degree?

I also don't think I have some "history" that makes it sensible for them to say "given your history". Am I just being an over-sensitive pregnant woman? Even this same new doctor told me my body is not at risk or anything for pre-term labor. He said I am fortunate that my body went into labor on its own with the miscarriage. They did not have to force my cervix to dilate, etc. I have no abortions or anything, either, which he said is also reassuring of my body's abilities. So what gives when referring to "my history"?

I'm confused now on whether or not I am making the right decision. Have you ever had an amnio? Was it not as bad as perhaps I envision?
I just want to do what is best. I may be slacking in my diet by indulging in too many cookies lately, but I think that's the extent of my carelessness goes. This pregnancy has been such an emotional roller coaster for me. Prior to losing a baby, I accepted the minor aches and pains of being pregnant. Since losing a baby, however, I tend to worry a bit more, wondering if something else is going to go wrong. I'm just over the halfway mark. 18 more weeks. I can make it. The baby can make it. Should I do it all without testing?

Added to my Baby Wish List

The Breathable Crib Bumper.
I'd like this, even though we're planing on co-sleeping some, if not the majority of the time. Heck, if this baby will actually sleep in the crib some of the time, I will let him! ;) So this is the tie-free bumper added to my baby list.

Now which do you like better- the yellow or blue? We know it's a boy. We did blue with our first son. They'll share a room, but both colors will match.

Ultrasound Pictures!!

Thanks to my wonderful hubby. ;)
First it's the profile shot, then the one of him kicking me, and lastly, the famous penis shot! Yay!

We had our ultrasound!

And....We're having another boy!!!!!!
We had a wonderful, clear shot of the penis! No question about it. I'm a little surprised, as I felt it'd be a girl because I was carrying so differently from when I had my son. I guess those old wives tales aren't always true, after all. ;) So we're going to have two boys. My little man is going to have a little brother! Isn't it great? I really believe every boy needs a brother, and every girl a sister. We're very excited.

I wanted to just post the ultrasound picture, but wasn't able to scan it. Once I can I will post it. You can all see my excitement! He's already an active baby.

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!

Med-Free Childbirth

Now is your chance to tell me why you chose labor and delivery without any pain relief. Actually, you'd be doing me a favor. ;)
After having a miscarriage, I am much more interested in less intervention. I admit, though, that I do doubt my ability to go "natural".

With my first, I had an epidural. It was fine-no headache or anything like that. I am always surprised when I meet women who have had epidurals and they tell me they couldn't feel anything. I got my epidural when I was dilated to 6, and I still felt burning in my hips and cervix every contraction. And when it was time to push, I was the one asking the medical staff if I could go ahead and push. I wasn't one of those stories where they had to tell me to push. Lots of burning and discomfort, which I expected.

I went into my first pregnancy not thin king twice about medications. I had heard a bad horror story of the pains of childbirth when I was 18. Someone very close to me shared her experience with me, and that scared me to pieces. Then I went through it with my son, and I thought "it's not so bad...".

And even though my second pregnancy ended in miscarriage at 16 weeks, I actually went into labor that day. My water broke and I was contracting and everything. They completed it with a d&c once we made it to the hospital, but I clearly remember those contractions and the feeling of my water breaking.

So now it's my third pregnancy and I am trying to reshape my frame of mind. Will you help me? Would you please share with the why you chose to avoid pain relievers, and what benefits you feel comes along with that decision? I do appreciate it.
I have until April to work on myself. :)

I'm in my 2nd Trimester!

I'm 13 weeks along now. Second trimester!!! AND......I felt the baby move. I know I did (it was not gas! lol) This is such a relief, as I did not feel the baby move last pregnancy. I will officially feel in better spirits once we pass the 16 week mark (as it was then last time we learned we lost the baby). I have been feeling less morning sickness and gaining a little bit of energy. Grant it, I still nap with my son almost daily. Oh well. Enjoy it while it lasts, right?

In a few weeks we'll be able to find out what whether we're having a boy or girl. We're so excited! (And please hold it in if you want to tell me that finding out "ruins it"; I find that to be a big bunch of bologna!) My next appointment is November 3rd. There's a slight chance we'd know then, but I am not supposed to have an ultrasound at that time.

I am starting to let myself get excited and even look at baby things again. (hey, it's hard after a 2nd trimester miscarriage!) Our boy is already being such a great big brother, too. Daily he says "hi baby" to my belly, and he rubs it and sings to the baby. It's so sweet. If I am feeling sick, he'll being me a Saltine cracker. I'm a pretty lucky gal.